ISS 17 (2006) JAN 19 - FEB 2
8 Social Sins You Do Not Want to Commit!
Have you ever been out and about minding your own business, then all of a sudden, you witness something so atrocious that you had to call someone to vent? It seems that for some reason, I always catch people at their lowest, doing something that they shouldn’t be doing. What I am talking about is called a “social sin”; something that seems like common sense to most, yet there are still those who get caught committing them! I have outlined the top 8 social sins you should never commit. This article is meant to advise you, and protect you against dirty looks, under-the-breathe comments, and maybe even an argument!!
1. Spitting or Hawking a Loogey in PublicThere was a time in my life where I actually thought it was cool to spit. I have no idea why, but apparently it made me seem tougher. I should have known that it was gross because of the way my mom acted the first and last time she saw me spit in public! I believe it was one of the only times when my mother gave me a good swat. She told me how disrespectful it was, how dirty and uncouth it was to spit. All of these still ring true. I was walking down the street the other day, and was forced to listen to the man ahead of me try to readjust his phlegm so he could breathe. Eww, I may have gagged. The last thing I think I ever want to hear is that sound of sucking air in while trying to scrap the crap out of your lungs. The second sound was the harsh sound of the loogey aggressively shooting out onto the street. Did I mention eww? I understand that on occasion you may have to do the deed, but please do so discreetly, perhaps into an alley way, or maybe you could turn away from anyone in your vicinity. Believe me, your community will silently be thanking you!
2. Budding in LineNothing sucks more than waiting in line, unless you are in a rush or you have to pee while in line. The cherry on the proverbial “queue” sundae is when some jackass nudges in front of you. You know the ones who seem to get into the giant line for the bar after you, but always seem to migrate in faster than you? These budders apparently don’t respect your time, or your personal space, and feel that they deserve be inside before you. I’ve got two words for you budders, “guest list”. Learn it, love it, use it. Not only does it annoy everyone one around, but it takes that much longer for those in line to get in. I am not suggesting that I am perfect, and have never squished in, but I am what is called the “friendly budder”. I know what I am doing, you know what I am doing, but I am nice, polite, and friendly, so ya, ok, people usually let my actions slide. It is a mortal sin to bud in line for coffee. If you are bold enough to do so, I hope you are ready for what it would be like to poke a hungry bear on a spring morning, I will eat you alive, and I don’t think I am the only person in this caffeine fuelled city that would so!
3. Crossing the Street When the Hand is FlashingThis seems like such an “adult” thing to suggest, but it is slowly becoming one of my biggest pet peeves while sitting in never ending traffic. You see the little hand starts to flash as if to say, caution, please finish crossing the road, NOT you still have time to make it if you hurry. To clarify for those who don’t see a problem with tempting the flashy hand, it slows down traffic and causes more congestion. If you are trying to make a right turn for example, but there are throngs of our beloved pedestrian friends flocking across the street, you may have to wait for the light to change, eliminating the glory of being able to right turn on a red light (except in Quebec, crazy Quebecers!). Also, it will lessen your chance of getting hit by a road raged truck driver trying to finish up for the day (Geeze boss, I didn’t even see him there; he just jumped under my fender!).
4. Loud Cell Phone Conversations in Public PlacesIn a café, in a restaurant, in the library, or on any form of public transportation, it is incredibly obnoxious and rude to have a loud and in depth conversation on your cell phone. Don’t yak away with your friend about the night before, and how drunk you got, and how many guys you made out with (I swear I heard this on the bus, only I gave you the PG version) or proceed to nail your boyfriend for cheating (I actually didn’t want to get off the bus I was so immersed in this drama, I could hear his excuses on the other end…I wish I knew what happened!). I am not suggesting that there must be absolute silence on the bus, or in a restaurant; sure call your boyfriend to quickly say hi, or call your friend to say you’ll be there in a minute; just remember your manners. Don’t gab for more than say 10 minutes, walk/sit further away from others and if you have to shout because they can‘t hear you, then the phone call can wait until a more appropriate location. The absolute worst thing you can do is continue talking on your phone while asking or paying for something. How dare you ask for help expecting their undivided attention, when you can’t even stop your oh so important conversation to give them a little respect. I’ve been there, and I have to say, it’s very rude. You don’t
have to get off the phone, just tell you friend to hang on, put the phone down, and converse with the store employee. Believe me, there will be a lot less “extra foam” in your latte!
5. Playing with your GumThis is the single most disgusting human habit I can think of…ok, third most. Anyway, if you are over the age of 10, don’t chew gum in public. It’s rude, white trash (google Britney Spears and all her chewing gum guffaws) and is gross. Blowing bubbles or cracking your gum is another sin. Already you feel the need to chomp on a wad of gum, but now you want to torture me with the sound of you mocking me with every pop and crack, pshhhaw! The absolute most unforgivable thing to do while chewing gum is to play with it. What nerve to do such a disgusting thing in public, you may as well hawk a loogey at me! Oh by the way, I just watched you open a door to a busy coffee shop, press the walk button to cross the street (good girl, didn’t try to beat the flashy guy), and get out 5$ from your wallet. You have touched probably some of the cities dirtiest parts, and now you are gonna play with your gum? EWW, don’t tell me that you are even thinking about giving your boyfriend a nice sloppy kiss. Yep, all those germs are now in your mouth; there is some food for chew for ya!
7. Hogging Space in Public Places (ie beach logs, benches, sofas in cafes)North Americans are very particular about their personal space. We all remember the Seinfeld episode when Elaine was dating the close talker. What about public space? Have you ever been out for a nice walk, grabbed a hot dog, and noticed the perfect bench to sit on; only problem was some jackass was hogging the whole thing? What about those comfy couches in coffee shops, you know the ones you can just sink right into? You are walking java in hand, ready to read the paper, and relax, but someone beats you to the plush sofa, and plunks right down in the middle. Frustrated you are forced to sit on a sturdy wooden chair. When this happens to me, I have a half mind to go home. The problem with these people was they missed the day at school when the teacher was talking about sharing. You won’t catch a disease from sitting next to someone on the subway (unless they are constantly readjusting their phlegm, then well, maybe) and you won’t miss out on any of the view if you share your park bench. Guess what? You may even make a friend!
8. LitteringThis is one of the most ignorant things anyone can do. No, it doesn’t directly affect anyone (accept mother earth) but it shows a complete lack of respect for others, and the natural environment. How dare you glutinously gobble down your latte and muffin, and chuck the cup into the forest? Have you ever taken a nice stroll in the park, only to be horrified by a discarded condom? I have and it’s disgusting. If you are going to eat or hump on the go, all I am asking is that you stash your trash. There are garbage cans every 100 feet, and recycling bins on most corners. Why then is there so much litter in the street? This one time I went strawberry picking with my sister. I was so upset by the amount of litter between the rows of berries that instead of picking those berries, I decided to fill my bucket with garbage, I kid you not. When it came time to weigh in at the pay station, I plopped my bucket on the scale and glared at the women. I promptly told her that I had more than paid for my sister’s bucket of dirty berries, and then some. We walked away feeling better about the earth, and a bucket full of contraband berries!
I could easily think up another 20 things I’d love to see change with human behaviour, but I am not a greedy person. I think it’s important that people respect others in their city, province, country and world. We all come from the same place, and go to the same place when we die. Being kind to those around you is a sure fire way to keep you from getting into fist-a-cuffs with your already well mannered neighbours, and to keep your lattes naturally frothy. *
Lisa Powell
Art by Jason Willmann (c) 2007
Who : Mongoose
Where : Media Club
When : Sunday, December 31
With : The Smears, The Furios, and Hot
Breakfast
Upstaged: In the world of performance and art this word will send shivers down the spine of any performer with any inkling of care or commitment to their work. To be destroyed before you start is what we are talking about, to have your contributions to the world thoroughly decimated by way of comparison before your work has a chance to stand on its own two feet. In live music the potential for this situation appears whenever two or more acts play the same bill on the same night. While potentially heart-breaking for the performer, it can be a delicious treat for an audience; it almost happened to Mongoose at the Media Club on New Year’ s Eve.
Some in attendance may disagree with this assertion, so before we get to the potential shit-slinging, there are a few
important background details to keep in mind. First, at least three of the four bands, The Furios, The Smears, and
headliners, Mongoose, are peers and probably all from the same scene, evident by the nice things they had to say about
each other during their respective sets, although the majority of the happy-pappy came from Kyle of the Furios. Second, due to a late start, the clearing-out-the-old- bringing-in-the-new -lets-all-have-a-better- year-countdown-b.s. happened during the second band’s set while the club was at capacity.
Third, and finally, audience response to all three bands in question was relatively even; each act had their own niche of fans present and all had something engaging to offer. The point being, that because of these things Mongoose was not being done any of the traditional favours often associated with the ‘headliner’ position on the bill.
Still, an upstaging looked to be in the cards thanks to one person in particular, Smears singer and rhythm guitarist Rene
(pictured). When she strummed her guitar at full volume for the first time as the Smears set up, her eyes went dull
momentarily, like she’d just been hit with the goods from a hypodermic needle. Then a wry smile crept in to the corners of her mouth, almost unnoticeable in its subtlety.
Alright, stop. Lets not get have any grand delusions about the nature of rock ‘n’ roll live: Has it not always been (and for christ’s sake,let’s hope it continues to be) about the performer(s) ripping the top off, pushing as hard as he/she can in an effort to break apart the space with the sound they’ve created? Right, exactly.
This little series of faces by Rene came only seconds before she and the other three Smears toppled their entire set of songs all over the front two rows of onlookers. Like dominos they crashed, one after the other, Rene pushing the words from each right to the back of the club. She received enthusiastic cheering in response, some of the audience belting out all the words to every song right in time while others just looked dumbfounded, intensely alert and aware, but dumbfounded. Clearly, some in attendance had underestimated what Rene unleashed. Such is the result of anybody
who embodies rawk. Amen, let us rejoice.
Not to be outdone or undone by The Smears wicked-hot set, Mongoose revealed matching white outfits and bright white stage lights as they set up their equipment. The four-piece hailing proudly from East Vancouver and consisting of Johnny Wildkat on bass, Benjie on drums, RC on vocals, and Shockk on guitar and vocals took stage quickly. The backlit shoe-pant-shirt combo was hugely eye catching in the best possible way, and was neatly accessorized with white
mic stands. Perhaps anticipating a collective thought in the audience, RC preempted by announcing sarcastically that this may be the band’s ”white” album.
With a range of cited influences that reach deeply into rock’s folk, bluegrass, and theblues roots, Mongoose opened the set with a song distinctly Zeppelin in its initial feel. This may have been deliberate by the band as it became the departure point, the last chance for anyone to take a measured breath or refresh their drink for the remainder of the 23 minute set. Mr. Wildkat lead the high dive into the dirty waters of audience preference and preconception, throttling the top end of the fret board during the breakdown of this song. Followed up by a short blast that saw
Shockk bark out a few lyrics, songs three through seven had only one common theme: Release.
Mongoose is a musically competent act, and is very comfortable pushing all avenues of their sound. Examples were abundant. The audience was treated to everything from a two second Ramones-esque vocal chant to a song with the guitar drizzling a few notes over top of a bass driven thunder to speed metal soloing to songs with a jazzy lop to the hyper- fast chugging of the guitar looping a four chord riff reminiscent of Bad Religion’s No Control. Mongoose’s sound was an engaging tour through huge catalogues of musical influence uniquely stitched together with their own stamp.
In addition, Mongoose was also interested in a visually engaging spectacle. They do the ‘big rock show’ but without any distracting pretense or ego. Shockk’s guitar prowess afforded him all sorts of time to let it come out, whether it was mock grandstanding or stage moves that would make Guy Picciotto proud. RC had his own concerns, namely checking out the weight capacity of the overhead air conditioning duct above stage. Although no aerial chin-ups were attempted, RC did spend a good portion of his time in the air and leaving little doubt that every ounce of expendable energy was tapped.
Mongoose’s set finished with an impressive face off between Wildkat and Shockk. They played off each other, guitars only inches apart while Shockk maneuvered the crowd’s response with his hand to engaging ends. Having wiped any doubt away about the legitimacy of their spot as headliners, Mongoose left stage almost as quickly as they had arrived. The only upstaging that happened with any certainty was that of the crowd, knocked off their own collective perch
of New Year inebriation and excess by The Smears and Mongoose. *
Matt O.
From “the dark” comes Light
Devitt Brown, known professionally as “the dark,” was anything but last evening at the opening of his unique and curious work presented by the Elliott Louis Gallery in the courtyard of the Arthur Erickson-designed Waterfall building. It was a fitting location for this former graffiti artist who has lived on the street and uses abandoned buildings and other urban detritus as a common subject for his palette.
This elegantly poised young man stood tall and quietly dignified in his tuxedo, rented for his coming-out. This begged the question, posed from one of the many admirers who had gathered in celebration of this popular graffitist, “where was his art before his first stencil upon the city’s streets?
The answer is a telling one, and where I choose to start my story of the evening and this emerging talent on the Vancouver art scene.
“Binder-art in high-school,” was “the dark’s” reply. Grenville Christian College, as it turns out. I was curious about this because of his manner, which was impeccable, and his deportment, equally so. All the hype about graffiti and living on the streets seemed incongruous with the elegance of his demeanour.
The Grenville Christian College is an elementary, middle and upper grade school in Brockville, Ontario. The school’s mission is, “to care for their students; treat them with respect, and to encourage them to grow into caring, respectful, well-educated adults.” They aim to educate young students academically, physically and spiritually, within a family environment, teaching personal responsibility and the value of excellence.
All of these qualities were readily apparent in “the dark,” lending evidence that, by all appearances, they had accomplished their objectives with this former student.
The school motto: Copiosa Apud Eum Redemptio (In Him is Plenteous Redemption), lends a colourful theme to the recent trajectory of “the dark’s” young life; from graffiti-inspired street urchin to the welcome arms of one of Vancouver’s pre-eminent art galleries.
The epic pieces previewed on the gallery walls at his opening show, some as large as nine by twelve feet, were in direct contrast to the notion of the binder-art that was the start of this unschooled artist. The fact that he has been so well-schooled in social graces will stand him in good stead as his career will so inevitably lead him to more and greater successes.
My fifteen year-old daughter, who was fully informed about “the dark,” jumped at the opportunity to see one of her hero’s work and was my escort as well as a great source of knowledge for the evening.
She asked, “How did you end up here from there?” He got it – I didn’t. His reply was, “those three pieces over there,” referring to three enormous works lining the gallery walls. “Mr. Lederer, [the ever-gracious gallery owner Ted Lederer], came into my studio and liked them.” And well he should have.
Primarily using intricately manipulated stencils, sometimes as many as fifteen, aerosols are applied to canvas, and acrylics to panels - in many layers. The overall tone is a sombre one. The subject matter, sometimes as mundane as a back alley, nonetheless provokes the eye to appreciate the vision for its simplicity and stark realism. Not sure at first, whether you are looking at a photograph, upon closer inspection one sees the work of the stencils at play.
It is a unique and labour-intensive art form and this young street artist has no doubt used many an urban slate upon which to perfect his craft. Far from any egalitarian assertion common to graffiti, “the dark” offers that he “tries to represent reality through his work.” It is not abstruse. It is simply, what it is.
Shown in its entirety, “the dark’s” collection of work definitively and, in the positive, answers the question, “yes, but is it art?” *
Devorah Macdonald
“The Dark” Dystopia is at the Elliott Louis Gallery January 11 through January 28.
Check out the dark's work online
The Bitch Within
I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. I don’t know if it is because of all of the changes going on around me or the realization that I’m no longer 19 years old, but while learning about my inner self I have discovered that I am a closeted, selfish bitch. There. I’m “out.”
We all know a woman who says what she is thinking, no matter the consequences. She’ll tell the server straight up if her food isn’t perfect, the moron who stole her parking spot will get a face-to-face “karma is the devil buddy,” and the person who litters will get their trash handed back to them. Despite the embarrassment the rest of us may feel when the bitch in our friend comes out, most of us are secretly happy that the offender didn’t get away with it. She says she is only “assertive,” but there is definitely a line that she crosses more often than not. If she isn’t happy, no one is happy!
It all boils down to being selfish. Most “assertive” people have a specific view of the world and how things should be done – and if thing don’t fall into place, watch out. “How dare the bartender put a lemon instead of a lime on my drink? Doesn’t he know that G&T’s need lime?” The bitch doesn’t drink and suffer; she reaches over the bar and helps herself to the appropriate garnish while schooling the barkeep on his listening skills.
As it turns out, I am way bitchier than I had ever realized. Ever since I have admitted to this social “sin” I find myself unleashing the inner diva more frequently. Normally, I merely accept social slights and simply complain about them later. Another tactic of mine is passive aggressiveness, so that I can avoid a confrontation at any cost. We all do it – make those comments loud enough that the offender can hear, but not loud enough that they would assume that I am actually speaking to them. “Man, can you believe people who actually budge into a lineup with their kids? Way to be a role model.”
I still do that; I mean, I don’t want to get knocked out by a stranger! But the bitch within is starting to get tired of being taken advantage of by the world. What ever happened to common courtesy? My bitch reared her ugly head at the bar the other night. We were at a staggeringly busy bar and I actually dumped my drink on someone - on purpose. I realize that when people are packed shoulder to shoulder, there is going to be some jostling going on. People have to get by, so there will be the squishing of bodies, the grazing of body parts and the occasional bump. That night I’d have been thankful for a simple nudge, but that was not the case. I don’t know how, but the bar was full of pushers. Not the gentle “redirection” type push, but the full-on shoulder shove. I finally could not handle it anymore. Seeing as no one else gave a second thought to those around them, I gave in to the bitch within. A girl with long dark hair shoved me. I resisted. She shoved again harder, pushing me into the people in front of me. She shoved past me, and my drink “accidentally” spilled into her hair. She whipped around to see who the offender was. “Man people are pushy today,” I yelled, and allowed the crowd to jostle me on. Ha! One for me!
I was so satisfied with the “revenge” I got on her that the next several pushes didn’t even phase me. Call it a retribution after-glow if you will. I know it doesn’t make me a better person. I know there is no way that I can ever “even the score” with everyone who steps on my new shoes, cuts me off or rams their grocery cart into my ankles. I am okay with that. But I also know that it is okay for me to be angry and to once in a while let the jerk know just how jerky they are. I am selfish because this is my life - the world may not revolve around me, but if I have to live in it I’m going to try to make my world just that much easier to deal with… Just don’t tell my mother…*
Carolyn Sapach
We asked, you answered! The results for our sex survey are in :
1. WHAT IS YOUR SEX? FEMALE 50%
MALE 50%
2. WHAT IS YOUR AGE?
Under 16 0%
17-21 26.7%
22-26 35%
26-30 15%
30-35 11.7%
36 + 11.7%
4. AT WHAT AGE DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY?
Under 15 19.7%
16-19 54.1%
20-24 14.8%
24-28 1.6%
28+ 0%
Still a virgin 9.8%
3. WHAT IS YOUR ORIENTATION?
Gay 6.5%
Straight 85.5%
Bi 8.1%
5. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU HAD SEX (INTERCOURSE) WITH?
0 10%
1-3 23.3%
4-8 20%
9-14 15%
15+ 31.7%
6. DONE IT ANYWHERE NAUGHTY?
Outdoors 75%
In a vehicle 75%
Bathroom Stall 37.5%
Parent's bed 28.6%
At school 17.9%
On a plane 7.1%
At work 28.6%
In an elevator 15%
8. DO YOU ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH? HAVE YOU...
Cheated on your partner? (w/ a stranger) 26.9%
Cheated on your partner (w/ someone they know) 23.1%
Faked an orgasm 38.5%
Talked openly w/ your partner about your fantasies 69.2%
Lied to your partner about your interest in porn 26.9%
Lied to your partner about seeing strippers 7.7%
Hidden phone numbers from your partner 23.1%
Gone into your partner's email w/out them knowing 25%
9. YOUR COMMITMENT FACTOR...
Single 41.7%
Dating 41.7%
Engaged 3.3%
Married 13.3%
Divorced 0%
FEEL FREE TO TELL US ABOUT THE SAUCIEST THING YOU'VE DONE!(here a few of the responses we received!)
" Well...water falls at the hot springs, midnight runoff, a warm drive in a BMW and a complete stranger who's name I can't remember...I'll let you fill in the blanks. "
" I met a very handsome guy through friends at a party and as we shook hands I felt compelled to say, "Hey, you're really cute, I might want to fuck you later." Well, that
was 7 months ago and we have been having lots of GLORIOUS hot sex ever since. "
" Had sex with a co-worker drunk after the club one night, in the Ice castle that is on the lake that the head chef builds every year in Lake Louise. "
" Having sex on the Go-train in Toronto on the morning rush hour "
" I had just finished an "all nighter" with this one guy, whom I just met, then I called my boyfriend to come and pick me up. He did, went back to his place he could tell that I
was a "bad girl" and that turned him on so we had the most passionately aggressive sex yet. The big "O" was long lasting and the first Ripple.... LOOOVED IT "
" Hung upside down doing trapeze on a clothes closet pole will doin it doggystyle "
Well folks, that's it & thanx for taking part !*
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The Commodore Rules
Rules v. ruled, rul•ing, rules
v. tr.
1. To exercise control, dominion, or direction over; govern.
2. To dominate by powerful influence.
…So said the lead singer Kevin Drew, of Broken Social Scene at the start of their second performance at the Commodore Ballroom Sunday. Calling the venue “one of the greatest anywhere,” before breaking into an eclectic set of phenomenal tunes that had the packed to the rafters’ audience chomping at the bit for more.
I was one of those who moved involuntarily while Broken Social Scene’s dozen members cast their collective spell during not one, but two Sunday shows at Vancouver’s acclaimed nightspot. Starting with the 2: 30 all ages welcome afternoon show - put on to satisfy the true and faithful followers of this pre-eminent Canadian indie-band - I approached the venue with my fourteen-year-old daughter and espied a line-up wrapped around the block waiting for admittance to the normally forbidden musical hot spot in downtown Vancouver.
I find it a sad comment that my daughter can hang out on any city street at night undeterred but, God forbid, I want to take her to a concert at a local nightclub. No can do. Broken Social Scene deserves credit for somehow recognizing this dilemma and addressing it.
They were justly rewarded by a chance to warm up for their evening show by performing for an adoring audience of well behaved youth who were obviously thrilled to be a part of a concert held in an intimate and grown-up setting.
At one point in the show, Drew teased that they would only play the next song if those in the audience would come up and dance to it. Come up they did. Some twenty-seven writhing youth danced their hearts away on stage while the soundmen sweat buckets trying to keep track of feedback and - remarkably succeeded.
That was just one highlight of the two hours that Broken Social Scene gave to their staunchest supporters. Kudos to them for giving these kids their money’s worth.
Venturing back for the evening show, I somehow knew that the afternoon warm-up would bode well for this one. I wasn’t wrong. From the moment they walked on stage at ten-thirty, until the last horn blew - at times there were seven horns on stage - magic occurred.
This is clearly a group with a sound that is setting the bar for a new generation of Rock and Roll.More power to them.*
Devorah Macdonald
Writers Writing – Actors ActingFilm is a visual medium. As a screenwriter, I was often reminded to let the pictures tell the story, to allow the joy of discovery to happen in the imagery rather than have the characters explain what was happening on the screen. For example, the Robert Zemeckis film ‘Castaway’ had long sequences that visually detailed how Tom Hank’s character learned to survive on an isolated Pacific island after surviving a plane crash. And then there are films that feature wonderful writing, films that you can watch with your eyes closed to experience the words and bathe in the joy and lyricism of the language. Words are meant to be spoken and heard aloud. Take poetry. Poems are best served out loud, the sounds caressing your ears, allowing the images they conjure to invoke interest, excitement, sensuality, discomfort. In this edition, we look at two films whose language accentuates the enjoyment of experiencing each film.
THE HISTORY BOYS (2006) – Creating a film from a successful Tony Award winning play can be a tricky proposition. ‘The History Boys’ is based on the successful play written by Alan Bennett (who also wrote the screenplay) and is wonderfully directed by Nicholas Hytner. It’s 1983, Sheffield England, at a school called Cutler’s Grammar School (equivalent to high school in North America). A group of eight young men have excelled scholastically and are attending an extra term to prepare for entrance exams and interviews at either Cambridge or Oxford Universities. As smart as they are, they lack the class and the well-rounded experiences that these schools look for in prospective students. The headmaster at Cutler’s, (Clive Merrison), who plays like a villainous Snidley Whiplash type character, hires a young
teacher named Irwin (Stephen Campbell Moore) to teach history. Irwin’s take on the subject is to find some new angle, something out of the ordinary so that the student’s scholarly work is not so straightforwardly dry and factual. The truth seems to take a backseat in this approach. The boys also have another, more traditional history teacher in Mrs. Bibby, (Penelope Wilton) and a more generalist teacher in Hector (Richard Griffiths). Of the eight boys, the story does focus on Posner (Samuel Barnett), a gay student in love with Dakin (Dominic Cooper). Dakin has been busy fondling the young school secretary Fiona (Georgia Taylor) and is making a play for Mr. Irwin, whose sexuality is ambiguous.
The language is exceptional and listening to the poetry, the historical quotes, the dance of dialogue between actors is wonderful, though you recognize that the scenes are more staged than anything you might encounter in real life. For example, a train of thought will move from one student to the next in a poetic dance that is a marvel to experience. This is a literate and thoughtful script.
There are two stories in this film. One revolves around the lively studies of the boys and the other around their lively talk and brushes with sexuality, mostly homosexual. Into the mix is the marvelous Hector (exceptionally well acted by Richard Griffiths) who likes to provide students with a ride home on his motorcycle. This jolly fat man enjoys reaching back and fondling the boys, an activity dismissed with laughter by the students. As wonderful a teacher and as loved as Hector is, his behaviour borders on sexual abuse though, as graduates, these boys may be past the age of consent. One can only wonder if Hector has been fondling boys who are much younger? And would the light-hearted attitude towards teacher/student sexuality be the same if the teacher was reaching back and putting his hand up the skirt
of young female students. The only teacher to take action is the headmaster who has to respond to public complaints.
If you can get beyond the sexual innuendo of the film, you’ll find an exceptionally well acted, lyrically written drama. The History Boys is presently playing in theatres.
Running Time: 109 minutes
Three and a half stars out of five.
YES (2004) - This film, written and directed by Sally Potter, is probably one of the most original and interesting films you’ve never heard of. Set in London, Joan Allen plays She, the American/Irish wife of a cold, tightly controlled politician (Sam Neill). She finds passion and tenderness in a Lebanese cook, played by Simon Abkarian, whose character is known only as He. This character is actually a trained surgeon and his reasons for leaving Lebanon speak to his heart and humanity and his disdain for the politics he left behind. He now works in a restaurant as kitchen help, using
his skill with a knife to carve vegetables.
The narrative deals with love, sex, class, politics and religion. This may seem to be overly ambitious of Sally Potter but she tackles the complicated issues with aplomb. The simple act of an upper class, white politician’s wife discovering tender and loving sexual moments with a Lebanese doctor working as kitchen help crosses these many boundaries. The critical subtext to the plot is provided by Shirley Henderson who plays the domestic in Allen and Neill’s home. As she cleans, she comments on the dirt beneath the clean surfaces of the lives of her employers. The politics is represented on many levels. There is, of course, the politics of the relationship between She and He. There is also She’s aunt, an aging Marxist who, on her death bed, compels She to visit Cuba. The aunt puts it this way, "I want my death to wake you up and clean you out." It is a country of which neither She nor He is familiar and perhaps, this neutral ground
would allow them to be themselves without the labels and expectations. This might open them up to new and different possibilities.
What makes this film unique is the dialogue. It is written in iambic pentameter, the same style used by another relatively successful English writer named William Shakespeare. When you listen to the language of the film you realize that the dialogue is both prose and poetry, in the same way that ‘to be, or not to be, that is the question,’ is both. Some of the rhymes are subtle and I didn’t realize, until partly into the film, that I was listening to poetry delivered by the actors with exceptional skill. You never think that the characters are just reciting poetry as their delivery never seems forced. Sally Potter’s writing is lyrical and elegant and as you watch the film, you pay attention to the word. Sally Potter has said, "I think yes is the most beautiful and necessary word in the English language." This is a statement that bears much thought and in my deliberations, I realize that so much depends on someone else to open up, to share, to say ‘yes’ in order to move forward. Saying yes to what you really want, really desire, can be the most courageous act of your life. Rent this film and listen.
Yes is available for rental.
Running time: 100 minutes
Four Stars out of Five *
Allan Stanleigh
Alpha Dog covers what makes a film - fine.The Story:
Written by Nick Cassavetes (John Q, The Notebook) also known for shared writing credits with Denis Leary for the screenplay of the movie Blow, it is based on a true story in which a series of events amongst a team of misguided youths ran inexorably out of control. Cassavetes developed his tale as a cautionary one, while at the same time allowing the audience to draw their own conclusions about the individuals and the morality at play.
On August 6, 2000, 15-yearold Nick Markowitz was seen just after noon, strolling down a road in West Hills, California. The previous night he had a run-in with his parents when they discovered drug paraphernalia bulging out of his jean pocket. He bolted. His parents, upon hearing his return in the middle of the night, resolved to hold any discussion until the following morning. They would never see him again.
The Plot:
As events unfold, a group of apparently voiceless teenagers, Tiko, (Fernando Vargas) Frankie, (Justin Timberlake), and Elvis, (Shawn Hatosy) fall under the spell of their drug-dealing friend, Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) to the extent that not one of them sounds the alarm after helping Johnny cross the proverbial line by kidnapping the brother of a client, and holding him over the course of the next three days for ransom for a bad drug debt. The story flows effortlessly into its own abyss and Cassavetes, who also directed, should be lauded for the conciseness and tightness of every frame. This tale has all of the elements of Greek Tragedy. In Greek Tragedy, the word “tragedy” refers primarily to tragic drama: a literary composition written for actors with a central character, a tragic protagonist or hero, who suffers some serious misfortune which is not accidental nor is it meaningless. It is significant in that the misfortune is usually connected to
the hero’s actions. This story has more than one centralcharacter. The hero is young Zack Mazursky, the protagonists, his brother Ben and Ben’s nemesis, drug-dealer
Johnny Truelove.
The Music:
Backed by a flawless and exciting soundtrack specifically designed to enhance the visual impact of the story, it unfolds as if one were watching it play out from a window as close as next door, a la Gladys Kravitz on Bewitched. From the opening refrains of Somewhere Over The Rainbow poignantly sung by Eva Cassidy behind visuals of home movies of various young boys and girls - to the pure street beats of Tupac Shakur - the soundtrack has everything in between, including David Bowie, Paul Bushnell, Citizen Cope, Lazarus, Mic Holden, Lowd, Tech N9ne,Miredys Piguero & Paul Graham and original work by Aaron Zigman and Nick Cassavetes. This exciting compilationis sure to make the soundtrack a music- industry winner.
The Cast:
Ben Foster plays big brother and, oh-so loose cannon, Ben Mazursky. The performance is a brilliant one, as tightly controlled as Mazursky is tightly wound. It is a riveting portrayal of a meth freak gone mad. He leaves you breathless by dint of his rapid switching from calm to convulsive in a heartbeat. Sometimes, the same heartbeat. Younger brother Zack, (the name of real-life victim Nick Markowitz’ dog,) is played with ethereal presence, by Anton Yelchin, (Taken, Jack and Hearts in Atlantis.) He radiates good and all things innocent. It is a perfect contrast to the rough and tumble teenage mayhem that surrounds him - teens with too much time on their hands and too much dope in their heads. The girls, who appear in various stages of wantonness, upon discovering that he is being held for ransom, give him the moniker ‘Stolen Boy.’
Emile Hirsch, who was phenomenal in his portrayal of Jay Adams in Lords of Dogtown, is equally stellar in his role as Johnny Truelove; Cassavetes name for the story’s real-life dealer and small-time hood, Jesse James Hollywood. His research on Jay Adams has stood him in good stead for this role as Adam’s has had numerous run- ins with the law and has spent time in prison for assault and drug crimes as well as being a member of the Venice Suicidals street gang.
The part of Jesse James Hollywood’s main man, Jesse Rugge, known in the movie as Frankie Ballenbacher, was played with a curious sensitivity by Justin Timberlake. Loose and light-hearted was the overall persona presented effortlessly by Timberlake. It was incongruous with the key part that Rugge played in the three days that culminated in the death of a fifteen-year old. One can only assume that the research Cassavetes did on his subjects led him to believe that Rugge had simply gotten in over his head and, in order to save face, went along with the caper to the point where he couldn’t retract himself. There are clearly no winners in this story.
As the real story goes, Nick was taken to various houses in Santa Barbara [Palm Springs is substituted for Santa Barbara in the movie] over the course of three days and often ended up at Rugge’s family home. In the movie, as in the court transcripts on the case, there was what can only be described as one long roving party that continued over the course of the kidnapping and took place at the many spots they visited, accumulating numerous witnesses to the kidnapped hostage along their route. In a Los Angeles Times article, Rugge’s father, Baron Rugge (Chris Kinkade) said that, “I thought Nick was up here visiting.” And that, “when I saw him, I saw him just to say ‘Hi,’ and ‘Yeah, you can stay here if you want.”’
As with most of the parents represented in this film, the senior Rugge’s lack of attention or concern for the comings and goings of his son and his son’s friends is telling. In the film, Cassavetes points a few fingers at parents who are too busy partying and hanging on to their own misspent youths to be of much use in child-rearing. Minutes into the film Johnny is arranging a large drug buy through his father Sonny, (Bruce Willis) an alleged underworld figure who hangs with an older, withered crony, Cosmo Gadabeeti, (Harry Dean Stanton) the man who ultimately handles the mess Truelove makes of his life by making it go away. For awhile.
The exception to this is Zack’s mom Olivia Mazursky. Sharon Stone plays real-life mother to Nick and step-mother to Ben, Susan Markowitz. By the end of the film, Stones heart-felt portrayal of a mother’s grief was so intimate that her pain brought tears to my eyes. Maybe it’s because I’m a mother. I applaud her ability to get inside Markowitz’ skin and allow her normally-gorgeous self to be seen as a middle age overweight basket-case with such flawless conviction.
Susan Markowitz, a formerly attractive sunshine-blonde, gained 65 pounds during the ordeal of the ensuing trials and attempted suicide twice. The in-your-face camera- work in Stone’s final scene is reminiscent of director John Cassavetes work with his wife, actress Gena Rowlands, - and every bit as arresting.
Probably not by coincidence, Susan, (Dominique Swain) happens to be the name of the only sane one of this bunch of party animals. Hers is the only voice of reason raised amongst this group of stoners oblivious to the trajectory of their lark.
A lark that ended tragically when Elvis Schmidt, (Shawn Hatosy) in the role of convicted murderer Ryan Hoyt, fires a semi-automatic weapon into Zack at the edge of a pre- dug grave. Hoyt was convicted of shooting Nick in the head and torso nine times with a TEC-9 semi-automatic.
In November, 2001, he was found guilty of first-degree murder and he sits on Death Row at San Quentin, waiting to die by lethal injection. Jesse Rugge was sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole in five years. Two others received short sentences for their part in the caper.
Like the movie, River’s Edge, the majority of the players flitting around the flame of this tragedy received punishment meted out by their own conscience.
One hopes that it screams long and loud.*
Devorah Macdonald
Deadlands by Scott A. JohnsonThe planet Earth is dead. 3 generations of humans have passed, hidden in archaic underground cities, following a destructive planet wide war. Only now are the bravest of men going above ground, their skin carefully wrapped to protect them from the harsh rays of the burning sun. But their scorched planet is not the hardest obstacle for these men. Along with burning the planet their ancestors also raised a mindless army of the dead to fight their war for them. These gruesome rotters have given birth to a new menace. One that can think, can plan, and maybe, can finish where their forefathers failed in eliminating humans entirely.
Of course, any horror fan will be drawn to this short book by Texas native Scott Johnson, just because of the ‘living dead’ angle alone. But science fiction fans may be surprised at how much they like this novel as well. It’s not just another mindless zombie book. Johnson expands on the living dead mythos and takes it further then even the great George Romero has done. Johnson not only gives a thought out explanation for how the zombies came to be, and how human kind learns to live with such a menace, he also shows the next step in the evolutionary ladder. And a frightening one it is. It’s also fascinating to see how Johnson has humans cope with the fallout of a full scale nuclear war that has destroyed the surface of the planet and the careful ways they have to live, nothing being wasted, everyone and
everything being put to use.
The pace is a little rushed, the book falls into that strange in-between length where it’s too much for a short story and just not quite enough for an all out novel. Johnson manages to cover a couple hundred years, an Earth shattering war, and the fall of humanity, all in just about 200 pages so. And, unfortunately, the last chapter comes across as being a little too sentimental, as it comes after a pretty gritty and realistic tale. But all in all this is a great, if quick read.*
Renee Mallett
To Whom It May Concern :
To who it may concern, my name is Charity West and I have been traveling through America, and Mexico for the last two months. As I write this I’m waiting in the Acapulco airport for my flight home to Vancouver.
Finally my Canadian and American dollars, and my pesos have been spent. My credit card maxed out and over limit from a 5$ bottle of Santa Rosa which I plan to give to my brother. I have just spent the last seven days on the white sandy beaches of Acapulco with my boyfriend. We met in Los Angeles and took a ten hour flight, on three hours sleep, hung over and nourished only by a soggy filet o’ something we picked up from burger king. It was a hellish beginning but quickly transformed into a week of sun, sand, surf and some seriously hot (you’ re neighbors are never going to see or hear you again) fucking. The sex was passionate, loud, wet, sticky, dirty, all of it and after months of cold weather and too many roommates, it was justly so.
We didn’t do the whole sex on the beach thing but we did take some barely clad, tanned and toned shots of one another at sunset.
Okay so you’re thinking, oh how romantic, and boring; a vacation to Mexico with your boyfriend. I used to feel the same way as you and I may have even written a previous article on the subject. But it wasn’t. I’m telling you, it was fantastic.
The reason I’m writing you is I’m coming home today and I have been evicted out of my house. Well that’s not entirely true, the lady I live above is a nut case and I would rather live in a shopping cart than spend another day living with that broad, so I’m leaving. I have ten days to be out and I was having too much fun to bother finding a new place. I don’t have a job - well that’s not true either but if you asked my mother she would definitely say I don’t have a job. But I do, I’m a writer and an aspiring director, I just haven’t had my break yet. I know what you’ re thinking, but it’s coming, soon. Really, it is.
I got an e-mail from my dad yesterday telling me that I have to be realistic and grow up, no more trips to Mexico when your cell phone has been cut off. Maybe he’s right but a two month vacation over paying a really high cell phone bill seemed like a reasonable thing to do, at the time.
So I need a job and I was thinking maybe I could work for you, at least then I would have something to tell my parents. Please, just think about it.
Sincerely,
Charity West
Photo : Charity West (c) 2007
WHAT: House of Carters
WHERE: E!
WHEN : Sundays, 3am
Yes, that’s right – near 30 year old backstreet boy Nick Carter and his little brother Aaron have their own show! You’ve got Nick 26 , Bonnie Jean 24 ), Leslie 20 , Angel 18 and her twin, ex-Lindsay Lohan humper Aaron.
This little gem focuses around the super dysfunctional family and their everyday hardships (humiliating your boyfriend on national TV by being a gigantic bitch to him before you dump his ass or how to grocery shop after a morning of drinking while trying not to puke in the aisles, for example.) It’s interesting, to learn that these kids grew up in a shit household and now hate their mother but get past it by living in their older brother's mansion...and off his long gone
fame.
Who by the way spends 80% of the show getting into verbal scraps with his brother who insists on recording his embarrassing (even to his siblings) excuse of an album into the wee hours of the morning.
Oh to spend your days trying write a record (as 3 of the kids are trying to do…one has used her brother to get her a job as a chef and the other as a model) and having your ugly little puppies follow you around the pool all while being filmed for every lackluster moment of it.
Everyone else is doing it so why not them?
One star out of Five*
Laura V
2006: Year in Review (because this is such an original thing to do)
It seems that all publications feel the need to take stock at the start of a new year and look back on the year that was, admiring the success, branding the failures (and subsequently ignoring them altogether in most cases), and basking in the relative corpse-like atmosphere that January tends to bring.
With the Christmas rush finally behind us and only a few “A” titles trickling out after the fact, namely those that barely missed the holiday boat on the first pass, January is a time to recoup. The games industry really is focused on the last quarter of each year more than at any other time (finding decent games to play in the summer is a nightmare) and as such you see very little coming out in the first few months of any year.
There are a few good titles coming out soon; Rogue Galaxy and God of War II for the PS2 in January and March respectively, and the Game Boy Advance is getting it’s swan song in the form of Final Fantasy VI Advance in February. But make no mistake, pickings are slim right now. So what are you to do? The answer is simple, my friends. Forget whatever is trickling out right now - that stuff will be there for months. Instead, take one last look back at 2006, at what worked especially and (in some cases) surprisingly well, and take the time to catch up on the best games of the
past year.
10. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360)A hell of a lot easier to get into than the previous Elder Scrolls game, Morrowind, Oblivion is one of the most unique and engaging single-player RPG’s in years. With a number of guilds and each one with their own story arcs, and all playing into the main story arc, this is a game with hundreds of hours of stuff to do, and damn if all of it doesn’t look and sound pretty. Sure the PS3 version will be a little bit better looking and have the Knights of the Nine expansion in it from the get go, but if you’re desperate now and have far too much time on your hands, you can’t go wrong here.
9. Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)Ordinarily I would have scored this title a lot higher due to just how much it kicks ass (especially the Indiana Jones-style sequence of events that takes up the last hour of the game and one of the best endings for any game - ever) but to be fair, it is a re-issue of sorts of a 2005 game. With a strikingly new camera and a host of incredible special features (including online play and the original versions of Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 to play through in their entirety), Subsistence is hardly a mere chance at making an extra buck or two. In essence it takes one of the best games of two years ago and makes it into one of the best games of last year - that’s an impressive feat. Boasting one of the deepest and most intricate gaming story lines, culminating in revelations that alter your perception about the entire series, and some of the most exciting gameplay on the PS2, this is definitely not a game to miss.
8. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin (Nintendo DS)I know, it’s such a shock to see me put a Castlevania game on a best of list (I’m starting to feel redundant), but fact of the matter is that they are yet to drive this series into the ground. While not as good as the previous DS title, Dawn of Sorrow, PoR stands on it’s own merits as another excellent Metroid-style action-exploration title with tight as hell gameplay, excellent graphics and a great soundtrack. Now they just need to bring back Alucard and Kojima’s art and I’ll be happy as a pig in shit.
7. Kingdom Hearts II (PS2)Square-Enix’s quasi cash in attempt is actually two for two now (not counting the damn GBA spin-off with cards. . . boring as hell). Although it still feels a little like “you got your Disney in my Final Fantasy!”, it’s hard to denounce the incredible quality of the Kingdom Hearts games and the story they tell. While the camera is still a bit of a bitch to control, and they gave Setzer a shit voice, the game is a lot of fun and it’s so nostalgic to drop into these backdrops ripped straight out of Disney’s universe. Plus Mickey really kicks some ass.
6. Bully (PS2)Rockstar fooled everyone with this one. We all expected to be horrified at what they have kids doing. We expected parents to be up in arms like with the GTA series. We expected Jack Thompson to need another enema after this game came out. But instead not only was it an incredible achievement in terms of gameplay but it also pushed some
boundaries both in game concepts and societal ones as well (if you’ve played then you know what I mean). I’m still not sold on the sandbox style game as I tend to like more narrative drive, but for what it is the game is fantastic.
5. Final Fantasy III (Nintendo DS)I know that this one isn’t going to be on a lot of lists, but I have been a fan of this series for as long as I can remember, and to have the missing link is very cool. It’s a little slow at times and you can definitely see it’s age, but as far as re-releasing an old game on a newer system, Square-Enix did a damn fine job updating this for the DS. Now if only they’d do that to the Dragon Quest games that
never made it over here (I here 6 is amazing).
4. Okami (PS2)Games like this, Shadow of the Colossus, Dragon Quest VIII and FFXII make me really question why in the hell we need a next
generation right now when these are simply stunning games. Who would have ever thought that painting with a celestial brush could be a captivating gameplay mechanic? While very reminiscent of the Zelda series in it’s feel and progression, the look, style and brush mechanic are incredibly original, beautifully implemented, and will make you think two or three times about whether or not you need to drop 700 on a PS3 just yet. Why oh why did you dismantle Clover Studios, Capcom?
3. Gears of War (Xbox 360)Even the ads kick ass - how often can you
truly say that about a game? They even made an REM song cool again (been a long-ass time since that happened). What more needs to be said? The graphics are fucking amazing, the shaky cam effects suck you in
incredibly, and it’s just insanely visceral from start to all-too-soon finish. The multiplayer doesn’t hit Halo style calibre, but it is still damn fun and should do plenty to tide you over until Halo 3 in 2007 (they hope).
2. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
(Gamecube / Wii)
Take this as you will: Either the Gamecube’s mighty last hurrah, or the grand entrance of the Wii onto the scene. This is easily the largest, most beautiful and most engaging 3-D Zelda game to date and it more or less encompasses how I always wanted the series to be when it made the transition to 3- D (I think I was one of the only people alive who was disappointed with Ocarina of Time). The Wolf and twilight mechanics are perfectly implemented and nothing feels like it was left out or skimped out on. Sure it’s an easy formula to guess by now and you already know who the villain of the tale will be before you ever get started, but who gives a damn - this is a damn near perfect game from start to finish. It even has the best story of any Zelda game. Pretty much the only glaring items keeping this out of the top spot for the year are the lack of orchestrated music, full voice for everyone but Link (It’s time Nintendo), and better/harder boss fights. Can’ t wait to see what they do next.
1. Final Fantasy XII (PS2)No one will quite know what drove Matsuno, the game’s original director and the man behind the story, to leave the project part way through, but his influence on the game is clearly felt from start to finish. Every bit of intrigue that we got only tastes of in his earlier works like Vagrant Story and Final Fantasy Tactics was accentuated tenfold in this startling mature tale of political upheaval, patricide, clashes with fate, destiny and the past, and all of tied up in a thematic structure that we’ve come to know and love for ten games already (XI doesn’t count - stupid fracking MMO). The music is the best in the series and for the first time works with the environments and doesn’t stand out as obvious game music. The world is huge and fully realized and the sense of scale actually makes you feel part of the world, much in the same way that Dragon Quest VIII did last year. And the most important change? The new active dimension battle system actually does the unthinkable and makes it fun to level grind. . . yes, you read that correctly. All of this with the best story I’ve seen in the series, and incredible voice acting to even things out even more. It’s one for the ages and the only thing keeping it from being my favourite in the series is nostalgia and a more genocidal villain. Oh well, I guess a hot as hell bunny-lady will suffice (gotta love Fran)!
So yeah, a lot of those were for the PS2. It may be aging hardware but still outclasses the new shit where it counts - fun. The PS3 games are great looking, but not a damn one is worth buying yet. RPG’s and adventure were definitely the winners this year, finally starting to make you feel as if you’re truly in the middle of something rather than just standing outside looking in. That’s what games need to become more of - not better looking or sounding, just more and more involving. We saw a lot of movement made in that respect this year, but there’s a long way to go still! That’s it ladies and gents! Bring on 2007 (and maybe a good game or two for the PS3!) *
Andrew Wilmot
OVEN BAKED COOKIE
ELISHA CUTHBERT
I saw "The Girl Next Door" on TV one night and thought it was crap. Since then though, this Canadian native has come a long way appearing in such projects as Old School, House of Wax (crap,too) and TV's 24 with two films in the works.
I've only ever heard about because she broke off her engagement to longtime boyfriend and personal assistant/best friend of Justin Timberlake, Trace Ayala but realized recently saw an interview and took note that she's actually the shit.
