ISSUE 3
Feist : Open Season (Indie/Folk) With her last album Let It Die, creating an international name for herself (with the help of her incredible vocal chords), Feist is back with Open Season, featuring a cluster of remixed samplings from her last album, as well as several new collaborations, with both showing the tremendous versatility of her chilled, jazzy/folk sound.
What better way to see this flexibility than in the four different versions of her 2004 single, “Mushaboom”, scattered throughout the album. The first is a Mocky remix version that adds a sleek yet subtle rhythm to the song, giving a taste of R&B to the normally rustic tones of the original. K-Os’s remix takes things in a more hip-hop direction, with a solid beat and a taste of customized rhymes framing his version, creating a huge contrast to Postal Service’s remix, where the rhythm jitters anxiously against Feist’s steady voice like a sugared-up toddler being patiently told to settle down. The VV mix gives a kick of electronica to the song, completely recreating it with scampering beats, random blips and looping vocals until it’s hardly recognisable, yet still enjoyable in its own right. Admittedly, four versions of one song is quite a lot for a single album, but with such distinct takes, it isn’t as noticeable as you’d think.
Other remixes include two souped-up versions of “Gatekeeper” (by One Room One Hour and Do Right), and an unmix of “Inside+Out” by Apostle of Hustle that strips the song to the bare bones, letting Feist’s achingly beautiful voice rule the day, with only an acoustic guitar for accompaniment.
New material features the magical “Snow Lion”, a song that manages to mix a cool beat and almost unheard guitar with an angelic harp and choir, strung together by Feist’s soothing vocals that somehow manage to complement both elements perfectly. Her voice reaches a whole new level of richness in the charming “Tout Doucement”, ringing out
with a classic melody that hypnotises the ears, as the piano and amusing little percussion sounds plunk away. A few tracks later, that voice shifts seamlessly into a husky, cool purr for “Lovertits”, her chilled out collaboration with Gonzales.
Even though Open Season features only four new songs, the remixes that fill out the rest of the album are so distinctive from the originals that they truly take on lives of their own, making it all seem like completely fresh material.
Price: $10.96
Taking Back Sunday : Louder Now (Emo/Alternative) With so many Alternative/Emo/semi-punk/etc bands bouncing around, it’s hard to stand out to stand apart. In the past few years, Taking Back Sunday has managed to keep their credible status, however, and with their third album, Louder Now, already nestled into Canada’s Top Ten Albums list, it looks as though they’re destined to repeat their previous success. Though the raw sound that ripples through their previous albums appears to have been smoothed down a bit, giving the resulting tracks a more polished feel than their older brothers, Louder Now still has the ability to satisfy the raging emotions of fans nationwide.
Their first single off the album, “MakeDamnSure” starts with a bare-bones verse, led by a steady beat and the odd guitar chord mingled with a simple vocal melody (featuring the band’s signature harmonising of Lazzara and Mascherino’s voices). The lead-up to the chorus breaks into irresistible catchiness as Lazzara breaks into a high pitched lyrics, backed by a happily enthusiastic guitar. The chorus erupts soon after with thrumming guitars and crashing symbols, and of course the necessarily frustrated-yet-tuneful yells that can be found in most of their tracks.
The majority of the album follows a similar structure, and while they are all decent tracks when separated, played en masse it can be hard to distinguish between them. One of the richer tracks is “My Blue Heaven”, which starts soft-voiced and chilled, with minimal guitar and an unobtrusive rhythm. The easy beginning contrasts sharply with the chorus, shattering the calm with its insistently pulsating guitar riffs and the cry of its height-scaling violins that create a sound-packed background for the simple vocal lines. “Miami” shares a similarly satisfying chorus, full of gorgeous hooks and catchy riffs. These boys know how to rock an addictive chorus, drawing you in until you’re shouting “Mi-AAA-mii, Mi-AAA-miii!” alongside (even though you swear you’re not the Emo type). “Divine Intervention” shows a momentarily softer side of TBS, trading the electric for the acoustic and the shouts for a
hushed murmur, before diving back into it for their next track.
The album is solidly consistent from start to finish- if you like one track, odds are you’ll like them all. While TBS might at first sound like the rest of the bands choking the airwaves nowadays, in the end they manage to hold their own as far as quality goes, proving they are definitely a cut above the ordinary.
Price: $14.99
Pearl Jam : Pearl Jam (Rock) After four years of waiting for a new Pearl Jam album to surface from the grungey depths of the Seattle band, their new eponymous album bursts forth with a rampaging vigour that defies their more sedate releases of the past years. “Life Wasted”, the first track on the album, kicks in with a high-energy beat of crashing drums and Eddie Vedder already worked into his signature gritty howl. From here the momentum refuses give out for four whole songs, including the first single, “World Wide Suicide”, with its demanding guitars matching the melodic vocals of the verse and challenging the force of Vedder’s chorus roars in true Pearl Jam style against the present state of a war-torn world. Apparently not all products of war are negative, with Pearl Jam’s sound thriving on their newfound outrage.
“Marker in the Sand” starts of with the same urgency that lines previous four songs, but the anxious guitars settle down to a mellow chorus,coaxing Vedder into a tamer croon that shows the sweet-tempered side of Pearl Jam hasn’t been entirely abandoned. The band finally takes a full break from their spirited antics in “Parachutes”, a simple, easy-going tune featuring the pleasant strum of a guitar with a melody that soothes the heat of the previous songs like a cool washcloth to the forehead.
After a brief return of the first few songs’ piss-and-vinegar attitude in “Big Wave”, the tone eases into a measured seriousness that sticks around for the remaining tracks. Songs like “Come Back” feature a soulful Vedder, whose powerful voice coaxes along to the blues-laced sound of classic guitar, building up to a passionate ending of expressive riffs, crashing symbols, and a voice that grows coarse with emotion.
It’s true that this album probably won’t be hailed as the most innovative of the year (or of Pearl Jam’s fifteen-year-long career, for that matter). However, it does manage to satisfy the craving for the solid, heartfelt rock that Pearl Jam has managed to master over the years. It’s good to see, even a decade and a half later, they can still deliver when they have to.
Price: $9.96 *
Joanna McIntyre
REVIEWED : Anthill
WITH : Jimmy Zee WHEN : APRIL 27, 06 8pm WHERE: The Old Brickyard/Limerick Junction WHAT : Pop/Rock/Country
This show coincided with the UBC end of semester exams. So the girl and myself got to ride the bus with a load of drunken/loud students who were out for a good time just like me. We took the bus too far and had the pleasure of walking past files of junkies all high as a kite along East Hastings until we found an oasis in the Limerick Junction. It was sparsely though coolly filled and I felt transported far away from the hellish road out there.
Ricky loves a venue with a circular bar and that’s where I headed immediately. I realized some radio station (Whichever one it is that’s sponsoring New West Music) was being played through the PA, complete with ads and announcer. That’s really weird, nobody goes out to listen to the radio unless there’s some fireworks and I saw no fireworks so turn it off and play a CD. The bartender was friendly and we settled into the large swivel armchairs that were as comfortable as hell. Jimmy Zee was about to start. Poppy rock; loved the first track but lost interest when I heard the first song over and over. Anthill appeared suddenly as if their van just pulled up outside and started loading their gear in 5 or so minutes after Jimmy Zee finished. Good, I was wondering where they were. I had to get up for work tomorrow, there wasn’t any time for dilly-dallying.
Anthill did a fast set-up and started with ‘Disappointed.’ Instantly the singer started moving like that guy from the Counting Crows and the music was somewhere around that part of musical town. This is not a bad thing friends. The guys were focused, well rehearsed and tight.
Part-way through the set our swaying singer announced “This one’s for all you cowboys.” And we got a bit of country action as they wore Neil Young on their sleeve.
This is an interesting young band that are developing their sound and most importantly rocking out. The small, seated crowd was happy to stay till Anthill’s last effort. I liked that I could see that they were seriously in love with music. I was interested in the sounds that came from the four piece on the stage made from the factory bricks of Limerick Junction. I’ d listen to them over some wine and food or chilling at home on the weekend.
Anthill’s music sits like mist on False Creek, patient till they’d jam out their songs and let the music just fall out of them. The set kept coming and us the punters applauded each track before the boys would kick into their next number. No messing around. Ricky likes that, remember he’s working in the morning folks.
You’re not going to hear Anthill on the radio, they’re not perfect but live music beats listening to the radio. I proved that here at the Old Brickyard tonight. Now get out there and findsomething that sounds good. *
Ricky Railer
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 (2006) Action films usually follow a common structure. The film is launched by a tense action sequence and then settles into an alternating pattern of action and story advancement. Mission Impossible III opens a little differently. Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), the leader of the Mission Impossible Team, is strapped to a chair. A sliver of blood trickles from his nostril, a result of the explosive charge that was inserted into his brain through his naval cavity.
His wife is seated across from him, a gun held to her temple by Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman). Davian vows to pull the trigger once he has counted to ten unless Ethan answers this question, “Where is the rabbit’s foot?” Is Davian shit out of luck and in dire need of a rabbit’s foot, or this is a code word for something more devious and potentially destructive? I’ll not spoil the outcome of the ten count.
Suffice to say this is an effective introduction to the third installment of the MI series, a scene that sets the underlying tone of the movie. MI 3 is the first of the summer’s action films to be released. The film does not disappoint in the quality and number of extraordinary stunts, explosions, car chases, helicopter battles, fire fights and, like all Bond clones, beautiful women. In keeping with the Bond formula, the action takes us to exotic locations such as Berlin, Vatican City, Shanghai and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.
Tom Cruise is energetic and convincing as the superhero torn between wanting the simple family life and the excitement of his true calling as part of the MI force. I use the word superhero deliberately because he has to hide his secret life from the love of his life, Jules (Michelle Monaghan) just as Spiderman has to battle revealing his identity to Mary Jane Watson or Clark Kent hides his Superman identity from Lois Lane. Unfortunately, in the critical scene when Jules confronts Ethan seeking the truth behind his regular business trips, his only response is to trust him.
The awkward acting in the scene spawned chuckles from the audience. Another sequence that caught the audience as unintentionally funny was a scene where Ethan had to electrically shock himself for reasons I won’t reveal. Just before this potentially fatal act, he stopped, looked at Jules and said, “I love you.” This probably was effective on paper but on screen, this could have been communicated more effectively by using visual cues such as a look, a touch, even a kiss (well maybe not the kiss).
An interesting aspect of the MI force is it’s multicultural makeup. This concept was first pioneered by Gene Roddenberry in the original Star Trek series where a Russian man, a black woman, a Japanese man and an alien were the team surrounding the white leader, Captain Kirk.
The MI group has an Englishman (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), the black dude (Ving Rhames) and the oriental woman (Maggie Q), all lead by the white guy, Ethan Hunt. They are fun to watch though Maggie Q’s character has a lesser role. Action movies often fail when stunts and explosions can’t overcome lame acting. The casting in this film is excellent. Philip Seymour Hoffman adds a level of cool intensity that few actors can convincingly muster, creating an effective villain.
The supporting cast, along with those already mentioned, includes the talents of Laurence Fishburne, Billy Crudup and Keri Russell.Overall, the flaws in dialogue and plot are minor annoyances. This is an entertaining and exciting film. Don’t wait to rent it. Take advantage of the superior sound and visual splendour of the theatre and enjoy the ride.
Three 1/2 stars out of Five
Running time: 126 minutes
MATCH POINT (2005) Woody Allen’s latest film opens with a shot of a tennis ball bouncing back and forth over the net. The narrator points out that a ball, glancing off the top of the net, can either find its way over the net or bounce back. It’s sometimes a matter of luck. Luck plays an important role is this masterful film.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays Chris, who has parlayed his tennis skills to escape his lower economic upbringing in Ireland and is now a pro at an exclusive London club. Chris becomes quite friendly with one of his students, Tom (Matthew Goode) who invites Chris to join the family at the opera. It is at this classical musical event that Chris is introduced to Tom’s sister Chloe (Emily Mortimer) who both likes and lusts for Chris. Inevitably, they become lovers and begin a romance together.
One weekend at the luxurious family country manor, Chris is introduced to Tom’s American born fiancé Nola Rice (Scarlett Johansson). Although Chris falls madly in lust with Nola and she is attracted to him, any possibility of consummating their desires is repelled by the more levelheaded Nola. This is the set-up of the film.
I’ll not go into any other plot detail so that you may delight in the many twists and surprises of this well-crafted, clever drama. Every character in this film is generally reprehensible.Each is seeking comfort in companionship and wealth. Engaging in deception and sacrificing one’s personal morals in order to achieve these goals is acceptable. They all live the good life and they are all willing to overlook the obvious deficiencies in their lives to maintain the illusion.
To insure their daughter’s happiness and financial well being, Chloe’s parents (Brian Cox and Penelope Wilton) give Chris a well paying job in one of daddy’s firms, complete with a personal car and driver. This is an arrangement that Chris gladly accepts.
You’ll find that all of the characters are not particularly well developed by Woody Allen. There is no significant character development, no character who has an epiphany moment and miraculously changes their lives. ‘Match Point’ is a film that is more about what people are willing to do and the moral vacancy that allows this to happen. The maintenance of the lives they live and the cost inherent in this maintenance is the underlying theme to this most effective thriller.
One other note: Woody Allen does not play a role in this film and there is no character that acts or speaks like Woody. As the writer anddirector of this film, it’s one of his better titles.This is a story about luck and you are kept guessing as to whether the character’s luck will run out. As Chris states in the movie, “I’d rather be lucky than good.” See this film and find out just how luck plays an important role in propelling the story to its unexpected conclusion.
Four out of Five stars
Running time: 124 minutes
SHOPGIRL (2005) Steve Martin displays his versatility as an actor and a writer in this film based on his short story. It is the story of three people and how their lives intersect. Ray Porter (Steve Martin) has made his millions. He has a luxurious home and travels in style when on his many business trips across the country. His life is full but without real human contact. He meets Mirabelle Buttersfield (Claire Danes) who works behind the counter at Saks in Los Angeles. Though he is much older, he is charming and clever and she accepts his invitationto dinner.
At the same time as this relationship evolves, she is also dating a man closer to her age who she met in a laundromat. Jeremy(Jason Schwartzman) is awkward and inexperienced and makes his living by designing lettering stencils for guitar amplifiers. This could be a film about a woman caught between two different loves.
One is an older, experienced, very wealthy guy and the other, a young, naïve, energetic but poor guy. However Steve Martin’s story becomes the story of the relationship between Ray Porter and Mirabelle Buttersfield as Jeremy takes off for six months to work for a band on a rock and roll tour.
This is a film about the search for intimacy in a lonely world, the agreements we make with people for sex, for companionship, and the delusions we hold to make sense of it all.On the surface, their relationship seems shallow. Ray spends his money on Mirabelle and insures that they maintain the lifestyle he has chosen of fine food, clothes and travel.
Mirabelle plays right along willingly and with awareness. There is no sense of the young woman being exploited by the powerful rich guy. There is no deception or manipulation. This is an agreed arrangement though the level of awareness of the agreements may be disputed.Ray Porter tells his psychiatrist that his new girlfriend is totally in agreement with his take on the relationship. The key is that Ray is willing to hide or deny his true feelings and
Mirabelle is not. Mirabelle allows herself to feel, to go deeper than Porter, and subsequently states to him, “I guess I have to choose to be miserable now, or be miserable later.”
The acting is first rate in ‘Shop Girl.’ Steve Martin’s character balances his comedic sweetness with the need to create emotional distance from Mirabelle, a distance borne of the denial of his own feelings. Claire Danes, who burst onto the acting scene in one of television’s best high school dramas (My So-Called Life) is radiant and vulnerable as Mirabelle. Jason Swartzman, who starred in the quirky ‘I (heart) Huckabees’, convincingly portrays a character that changes from the awkward, early 20’s going on 12 artist, to a more experienced and mature individual.
I found the pacing quite slow at times but the acting, direction and story make this a worthwhile rental.
3.5 stars out of 5.
Running time: 116 minutes *
Allan Stanleigh
I’d never been to a psychic before. I had visions of crystal balls, mystical chants and lots of jingling chains. Maybe Madame Cleo played a role in shaping my view of what psychics were like, with her 10 minute infomercials in the late 1990’s, or maybe the fear of what being told about lies ahead. Being a firm believer in fate, I think I had doubts about being told something about my life based on my life line on my hand.
When I met with Raziel Ross, immediately all of my preconceived notions vanished as I felt the warmth in her energy. She invited me in to her cute little townhouse, decorated no different than my own, into her completely normal office. The only thing that struck me as odd was how “normal” everything seemed!
We begun our interview with me giving her my background, and then got right down to business. At no point did I look at my watch or fidget, I was so intrigued by what she had to say. The first thing I found out about Raziel was how she wanted people to feel good when they left, not scared.
She was there to help ease concerns, frustrations and worries. Looking into her caring eyes, she seemed more like a care giver than a future predictor! She told me a lot of things, and I tried and tried to write them all down but I found myself just wanting to listen to her and watch her as she spoke. Her magic-like spell over me had my attention for just over an hour.
I learned how she sees colors in people, not auras. For example, if one of her clients is ill, she can see green in them! When I asked her how it felt to get a bad premonition, and knowing that she would have to communicate this to her client, she reaffirmed that her intention was not to scare but to warn. To a client who she knew would end up ill, she would say something like “you should try to be more healthy, work on cleaning up your diet” and not “you will develop diabetes”.
Just like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she too is plagued with physical discomfort when there is bad news. Most commonly, she feels tension in her head, like a head ache. As a young child growing up, she didn’t realize that she had this gift; she thought all kids could talk to their dead grandparents, and that it was normal to actually have these visions. When she realized this, she begun to develop her skills so that she could be of service to others. She has learned to fine tune her skills using meditation, which helped her harness mostly positive things from people, versus all the terrible news one could expect. We had an interesting talk about imaginary friends. She told me that they are in fact real spirits of people, and the reason that only children seem to have them is because they do not have those filters that we develop as we get older that say “this cannot exist, there is no such thing as ghosts”. I found this very intriguing because as a child, I remember being ridiculed by older siblings for being as childish as to fabricating imaginary friends! As it turns out, I was just more spiritually aware then my siblings (take that Shawn and Allison!)
Another fascinating discovery was that Raziel truly believes in fate. How wonderful, I thought, as I pressed her for more details. She said that she believes that people have a predestined path in life, general check points along the way. But all the stuff in between, we have some control over We talked about the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know” a documentary/movie about physics and shaping your own destiny (for those of you who’ve not seen it, I highly recommend it when you are in a pensive mood), which is neat, because at the time that I saw it, I never would have imagined a psychic getting as much out of it as little old me.
The most frustrating thing Raziel said about being a psychic had nothing to do with any of the stereotypes about her field, but in fact when the messages she received didn’t make sense to the client. Being dedicated the way she is to helping people; it can be confusing to received information that doesn’t immediately help her clients. A lot of times people contact her months or years down the road to tell her that what she said made sense, which always puts a smile on her face! It is for this reason that she tapes each session, and provides you with the audio tape as a memento. She said that sometimes people are so blown away with what she is telling them that they don’t hear it all, it’s not uncommon for people to visit her more than once either so they can get the most out of her mesmerizing gift.
My last questions made her scratch her head a bit. I wanted to know what made her happy, what truly made her smile. After some thought, her answer was simple; her grandchildren, whom she is very connected to, and giving people the gift of positive energy. Raziel truly impressed me with her kindness and her devotion to her gift. She has shaped my opinion of psychics and made me realize I need not fear the unknown but embrace it, as I have some control in it. Although I did not have a reading with her, I will surely visit her again so that I may experience her wisdom and guidance. Raziel is available by appointment; please visit her website to set up your date.*
www.razielross.com
Lisa Powell
SINNER & SAINT DISCUSS TIPPING SERVERS ...
sinner : I’m sitting in a restaurant when the cheque comes. It’s a first date and when the new Mr. Wonderful reaches to pay the bill, my eyes subconsciously (I swear!!) strain to see whatamount he puts on that “other” line. You know, the optional bit. There is the first bit (the total) and then the part that won’t land you a night in jail if you choose to leave it blank.
Why my fascination with the tip, you ask? Ah hell, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the years of slavedom that I spent waiting on tables while putting myself through university. Maybe it’s the memories that I have of when I worked in nightclubs and at the end of the night, I would be required to tip out the bar-backs 3% of my total SALES (I could have lied about total tips, but sales can be tracked and it kept us all honest). When someone didn’t tip me, it would actually cost me money as I still had to tip out a portion of that sale. I explained that once, when a man asked why another bartender had started ignoring him completely. I told him honestly how it worked and after that he made sure to cover his portion and then some. In his case, it really was pure ignorance about the way things work in that kind of atmosphere.
This is the reason I believe that everyone should wait tables and/or work in a retail environment at some point in their life. It just makes you a better person overall.
So why do we not tip retail folks? And in this province, where retail sales people get the same minimum wage as wait staff, why is tipping required? Wasn’t that wonderful woman at Mexx helpful? Didn’t she wait on my every whim and desire while I complained about my hips and my ass and the lack of cleavage in certain sweaters despite my new Victoria Secret ultra lift bra??? Hell, it was an accomplishment beyond measure that she didn’t set me on fire.
Let’s say that after my shopping fiasco I decide to go for lunch. I meet up with a friend and we have a great time at a new restaurant in a trendy area of town. I’m sarcastic and a pain in the ass with the waiter (are we noticing a pattern here?) and then when the bill comes I think to myself “wow, that waiter was really cool with me, I’ll show my appreciation with a big fat tip!”
He didn’t have to hear about my ass. He didn’t have to tell me how thin I look or how the colour of my blouse really brings out my eyes. So, why does he get a little extra cash and the Mexx woman didn’t? I wasn’t slipping her a percentage of my bill before I left.
Salespeople make commission. Isn’t that like a tip? It offsets my mood and rewards her for being calm and patient and being able to match my new outfit with some stunning new accessories.
In other provinces, the wage for restaurant and bar staff is lower than the minimum wage in other environments. For example, when I left Toronto, the wage in a restaurant might have been $5.35 while the minimum wage at the Gap was $7.50. Waiters were expected to make up the difference in their nightly wage (along with the big hole in their shoes and the stains on their clothes) with tips from the customers.
When I worked in the industry, I was known to tell people not to give me anything if I had a cranky night. I knew when I hadn’t earned it. When I was on the ball – witty and beautiful and wearing my best shade of lipstick - I would be livid if they hadn’t taken appropriate notice and action after seeing my smiling face for the duration of their meal.
It’s true that “no one told them to be a waiter”. It’s also true that no one told you to eat out instead of shopping for and cooking your own meal. And without the exceptional service and the mouth watering meal, you wouldn’t have had a relaxing night out, a clean kitchen and perhaps a nice buzz that takes you through the rest of the night. Our world just wouldn’t be the same without people to cook in those kitchens and to serve our tables. They aren’t given any other recognition, and in many cases are required to show THEIR appreciation for the people that help them behind the scenes with a percentage of their sales passed out to a few sets of hands at the end of the night.
It isn’t easy to wait on strangers as though they are friends. It isn’t easy to stay positive when you are tired and your own life outside of work might be a mess. When the service is good, help them out a bit. After all, when you’ve had a long day at work and decide that you just can’t cook and serve yourself or when you have someone to impress that you wouldn’t invite into your small, messy kitchen on a first date, the role that waiters play is essential to your survival.
Be kind. Waiters are people just like you and I, trying to make a living that allows them to have a life and a home. Or, if that doesn’t appeal to your sensibilities, just remember that they can quite easily spit in your food. *
Jody Winder is a freelance writer that eats out more often that she would admit - and always tips 20% unless the waiter pisses her off or forgets to bring the next martini.Jody Winder
saint : Stop arguing. It’s 15%. Seriously. In this, the seventh province to join the Confederation of Canada (today’s history lesson), that is the standard tip amount. Now, that’s not to say that amount is a definite or anything; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Don’t feel crappy about leaving less, and don’t feel weird amount leaving more (especially that last bit).
After all, I’m looking at this whole thing from a very biased, but yet strangely objective, point of view. I am a server. And, when I’m not grumpy or overtired or drunk or hungry or thirsty or hung-over (see: drunk), I am a damned good one. I’m young, but I’ve been working hard in the service and hospitality industry for nearly eight years now. I’ve been the guy that had to bus your filthy plates and the guy that you complained to when your server screwed up (sorry, he was new). Believe it or not, I actually enjoy what I do, and when everything goes extremely well – and I am serving an outstanding product – I’ll even go as far as to feel proud.
You know those waiters and waitresses that make you want to come back the next night simply because they were THAT good? They deserve more.
To me, there is a bit of an art in serving a table, and the good ones know exactly how much it takes. Now, I’m not talking about Flo down at the diner (she’s been pouring coffee in the same dry, sarcastic way for decades now), but I’m talking about what I classify as “Earls-and-above.” It’s not about cost; it’s about food quality and service quality. I mean, let’s be honest: the Denny’s waiter would basically have to give me a handjob from under the table in order to justify me leaving him anything even a penny higher than the standard 15%* (*from this point on the be referred to as “the standard”).
Actually, I’ve heard a lot lately from people saying that they shouldn’t have to tip their servers, saying that “people in the retail business don’t get tipped.” Well, here’s my response: they fold pants for a living (send your jeans back the next time they’re undercooked).
Now, after all of this griping and complaining I’ve been doing, I must stop digressing (a fancy word for blabbing on and on and on).
For those of you who leave “the standard,” congrats! Here’s your gold star! For those of you who don’t, I have one simple thing to say: servers have GREAT memories – you’ll be lucky if it’s only lukewarm, dried-out, and decaffeinated. *
Joel just got off from a terrible back-to-back shift, serving Spaniards too much bread. Pardon the bitterness.Joel Gook
An Old Friend of the Family by Fred Saberhagen Kate Southerland awakens after a night of partying and realizes something terrifying has happened. She has been murdered, but somehow she is not dead. Even as her family tries to come to grips with Kate’s death her younger brother Johnny vanishes as well. The only clue to his kidnapping is when a bloody severed finger is delivered to the house.
The Southerlands don’t know it but they are merely the all too mortal pawns in an age old feud between the evil Morgan Le Fey and Dracula. The Southerlands are Mina Harkers descendents and Dracula will do anything to protect her family, no matter what the costs.
An Old Friend of the Family takes a whole new twist on the tired myths of vampire lore. Instead of Dracula being a blood thirsty monster he is, in fact, a hero.
We discover that Dracula has long stood between the vampires and the human race as a kind of buffer, keeping the people from being slaughtered. The book has the right combination of action and mystery, and there are some hints of romance between Dracula and the younger Southerland sister. But that being said this book has enough loose threads to knit a sweater. You get the impression that a great deal of stuff has gone on before the book starts, and the history behind it is never fully explained. Some things are hinted at but never really fleshed out, and they often make very little sense- the Southerlands are Mina’s descendants, and it is mentioned that she is still alive ( or undead, whatever) but that Kates youngest sister is Mina reincarnated. It’s a tangled mess. To be fair, this book is the start in a series, so a lot of those dangling plot lines might be straightened out and tied up in later installments but the book doesn’t work well completely on its own.
The Taking by Dean R. Koontz This apocalyptic sci-fi/horror novel starts on a dark and stormy night. Molly and Neil Sloan awake to the sounds of a storm, not knowing that the world as they have known it has come to an end. Over the radio and TV the reports begin pouring in, strange weather phenomena and mass hysteria are spreading across the globe. By nightfall they are cut off from the rest of the world, and they and their neighbors are left to fend for themselves in a town grown very hostile and strange.
This book is filled with moody descriptive passages that suck you right in and keep you reading. The characters are likable and realistic, but fall into the typical Koontz pattern of the humble husband who seems unexplainably baffled as to how he landed such a good-hearted attractive wife. Somewhat reminiscent of his 1983 book Phantoms, it seems to mark a return to his earlier style of writing, starting right off with the action, building up tension from page one, leaving the reader franticly trying to figure out what in the hell these poor people have gotten themselves into, and with creepy moments abounding. That’s why it’s such a let down when you reach the last third of the novel and in walks the courageous, preternaturally communicative canines, and the hopeful, preachy, overtly religious overtones that have marked his more recent, and markedly inferior, books.
The smarmy ending kills the good feelings I had when I started this book. Fans of Koontz will find it middle of the road, most people will be much happier taking the time to read the before mentioned Phantoms, or The Servants of Twilight which are both top notch books by the same author. *
Renee Mallett
To steal three lines from “Breathless” by Onelinedrawing, “I have told a couple/now that's a lie right there, I’ve told so many more/but I’m not keeping score.” It’s true that all guys, and everyone for that matter, lies. So I hit the streets of San Luis Obispo, California to find out some of the lies that guys tell their significant others. Some were pretty terrible, others were not too bad and I would even put my two cents in, but I try not to lie or have ever been in a relationship for that matter.
Whereabouts -Mike, 23 – “Sometimes I tell my girlfriend I'm going to class when I'm ditching it. I don’t lie about much else.”
Frank, 24 – “On the weekends, I watch sports at my buddies place with beer and chips and all. I tell my girlfriend that I have to be in the office. Luckily she doesn’t have my office
number.”
Sex -Scott, 27 – “My girlfriend once asked me if I had ever fantasized about getting with her identical twin sister. I told her no. I lied, so sue me.”
Ian, 29 – “When we first got together, my girlfriend wanted to know if I had ever slept with anyone before our relationship. I did, with a guy, in college. I’m not gay, I was experimenting.”
Patrick, 23 – “I think my girlfriend’s best friend is much hotter than her, but I tell her that no one is as pretty she is.”
Chris, 22 – “I masturbate a few times a week during my morning shower. I often never think about my girlfriend, but I tell her I do.”
Looks -Tom, 22 – “I could never tell my girl how I feel about her weight.”
Dan, 34 – “It bothers me when my wife tries to look like the chic celebrity of the moment but I tell her to do whatever helps her feel better about herself.”
Erick, 21 – “I wish my girlfriend had bigger breasts but she would get mad at me if I told her that.”
Pat, 29 – “I hate when my fiancée paints her toenails and fingernails black. She reminds me of a Goth chick but I tell her they’re nice.”
Other –Tim, 28 – “My girlfriend and I base our relationship on honesty, so we never lie to each other.”
Sean, 25 – “I hate my fiancée’s mom, who is always telling me how to treat “her sweet daughter” better. I tell my fiancée that I appreciate the advice but in reality I wish she’d cram it.” *
Nick Coury
Art by Jason Willmann (c) 2006
BONNIE’S TOP TEN CELEBRITY STYLE VIXENS
They’ve got style, they’ve got grace, and they’ve got enough connections to know what the next fashion trend will be even before the designers do! That’s right, they are the leading ladies of Hollywood. And after many nights of exhaustive and excruciating research, I have compiled this list of celebrity women who should most influence what you put on before heading out that door. Each of these fabulous females has been given the extreme honor of a spot on this list due to many factors, most importantly a personal sense of style and a unique trend-setting fashionista’s eye. So, scroll on down and check out this week’s fashion lesson.
1. EVA LONGORIA - Best known for her role on Desperate Housewives as the catty hot chick next door, Eva has since been branching out and will be appearing in several feature films coming soon to a theatre near you. I believe that Eva brings together classy and sexy in a way that is foreign to most celebrities. She is never seen in anything resembling skanky or tacky, and women everywhere would not go wrong in imitating her stylish ways.
2. KIRSTEN DUNST - Eclectic, yes. Sometimes strange, yes. Altogether unique and fantastic, yes! I have often wondered why this blonde beauty has been so overlooked by fashion critics everywhere, just because she does not dress in some cookie cutter mold idea of style. Kirsten’s look changes like seasons or moods, or hell, whatever she damn well feels like. From boho to pyjamas to red carpet, this girl has flair and spunk, and she uses it well.
3. RACHEL BILSON – Need I say more? Once known only for her character on the hit show ‘The OC’, Rachel’s chic sense of style has rocketed her into fashionista fame across the globe. She sticks to sophisticated and fresh, and her super power seems to be that she could make sporting a paper bag look delicious. Simple and remarkable should be this lady’s trademark.
4. HALLE BERRY – Personal style finds a home in no one more deserving than Ms Halle. Fabulously talented and beautiful, she is also a symbol of female strength and resolve. Regardless of what she wears, she carries with her an internal light that shines through. The great thing about Halle is that you never know what she’ll do! Having gone for both the risqué and the classic on many red carpets, her sense of style is always interesting and inspiring.
5. KATE HUDSON – A classic beauty, when Kate smiles, the whole world smiles with her. What is it about her that makes us adore her so? A large part of Kate’s charm is that she always seems on the verge of a laugh. She is also one of the few stars who has openly accepted her body for what it is, and refuses to accept criticism or negativity on what other people want her to look like. That alone spells quality to me, but to top it off, she just looks fabulous and happy!
6. LUCY LIU – Lucy reminds me of a red hot firecracker! Her talent on-screen is versatile and complex, and she handles the most challenging of roles with ease. After all, fighting bad guys all day and then dolling up for an awards show at night is a tough life! But Lucy effortlessly eases onto this list with her sophisticated and never disappointing look.
7. QUEEN LATIFAH – This woman never ceases to amaze me. Following her complete transformation from hip hop gear to Fifth Avenue swank, the Queen has adapted her own mixed look and stays true to her inner diva. Always full of kind words for fans, she is a rare jewel that is beautiful both in who she is and what she wears.
8. UMA THURMAN – Beyond porcelain skin and piercing blue eyes, Uma has a uniqueness that characterizes her and prevents her from being lumped in with the other girls. She has that “indie” feel to her, making her perfect only because she isn’t. Her style choices are always very individual, and her insistence on being unique is what we should all strive for.
9. HILARY DUFF – Laugh if you will. But honestly, this chick has made loads being a chameleon, moving from bubblegum to mature lass in a heartbeat. She provides a clean, sweet role model for our young ones and then turns around and shows us her suave, sexy side. Be ready for young Hillary to make her mark on the fashion world, and surprise.
10. JESSICA ALBA – Last, but most definitely not least. Jessica has been blessed and cursed with a double image of sorts. Men worship her and want to get her into bed. Women want her wardrobe and also to get her into bed. And yet, beneath all that there lies an enduring beauty complete with the brains to boot, and she dresses accordingly. Where many celebrities would try to increase their sex symbol status by baring it all, Jess keeps it low-key and cool, reminding us that you are what you make yourself and not what others make you. *
Bonnie Lynn
SINGLE, SEARCHING OR STABLE?
OK, so which one do you prefer? Do you love being single, mixing it up , doing you own thing, or is being on the prowl more your cup of tea? How about being in a stable loving relationship, does the sound of your partner making you breakfast in the morning melt your heart?
If you would have asked me this a year ago, I sincerely would have said I prefer to be single, but dating. Being the Sex and the City “Samantha” type woman, I’ve never had trouble meeting people, finding trouble, or having a whole lot of fun. Then I met my partner, and now, sadly (and sappily) I am devoted to being devoted!
I interviewed a lot of people to get an understanding as to what the norm prefers. I got a mixed bag a responses, a lot of pros and cons, and a few comments that were too dirty to make it into my article (ooooh aren’t you just dying to know what those are??).
Here are my classifications of relationship status. First we have Single, meaning alone, and perfectly happy with it; these people do exist; trust me I had to bribe them for info! Next we have people who are searching, or dating. There are lot and lots and lots (ya, you guessed, and lots) of these thrill finders. You’ll often find them at bars on weeknights, or cruising the seawall on the weekends. Lastly, we have those of us who say “we” more than “I” and enjoy those lazy Sunday mornings hanging out in our pjs with our partners insisting that its their turn to make breakfast. So which one is best, which one has the most drawbacks, and most of all which one is for you?
It seems that being single is best suited for those who are focused on their career. No one to answer to when you are working late, no one to tell you to put some pants on as you feverishly type away at your laptop, and no one to bug you about “getting away for the weekend” when you’ve planned a weekend to channel surf. It seems that these cats are pretty darn independent and not looking to plant any roots, or be taken off their course. Although these hard asses did mention that once in a while a good old fashion lay doesn’t hurt, especially since the only sexual relationship they had is with their hand….and “that type of website”. The most positive thing about this status is the freedom to do anything (or anyone). Not too shabby when you look at it like that!
Next, if you like the thrill of the hunt, the excitement of the first kiss, and are here for a good time and not a long time, dating is definitely for you! The majority of the people I interviewed said the best thing about dating was the variety of tail, and the joy of a good romp. It seems that dating is the ultimate player’s game. Hey, you’ve heard it before, don’t hate the player, hate the game! If you look past all the excitement, debauchery and action, there are only a couple drawbacks. The most common complaint from our promiscuous friends was that it took a lot of energy to play the game. You need to be up, friendly, and ready to open your wallet, because it will likely be your best bait! One of my buddy’s said that the worst part about dating was having to use condoms (wow, he doesn’t hold anything back does he?). Honestly, if that’s the worst part about going out, getting drunk, stock piling numbers for a rainy day, it’s not a tough sell. But what if you are shy? Those that said they had the worst luck with the opposite sex said that it was really hard to make that dreaded first move and ever muster up the courage to ask for a number. It was these folks that longed for something more serious, more long term, which leads us into our last category.
Attached. Hmm, connected to someone, or being stuck with someone. This is both sides of the coin. Some (like myself) have been lucky enough to find that special someone who lights up their life, and makes all others pale in comparison. You wake up to them, miss them all day when you are apart, and can never seem to get enough of them. Others are stuck in a rut, and can’t get rid of their extra baggage. They settled into a relationship years ago, and haven’t been able to get out since, yikes! Whatever the situation, being attached has its pros and its cons. The pros of course are comfort, love, support and yes, that exciting experimental sex that inevitably comes with time! The cons would be having someone to answer to, the some old same old, and yes, only one sexual partner for the rest of your life (unless you go away and get really drunk, hey what happens on vacation, stays on vacation right?). Surprisingly for us jaded folk, the majority of the people I interviewed were happy with their mate, and were still very excited to have the rest of their lives to spend together. Those that weren’t felt one step closer to the door after my little interview (I am not a home wrecker).
So what’s your style? Single, mingle or nailed down? If you love to have your own agenda, and be your own boss, you might do best as a single stud. If you are the life of the party, love meeting people and love to hunt for prey, you need to be dating. But if you like the idea of a romantic dinner, and unconditional love, then keep your peepers open, because you need a mate! Whatever your style, as long as you are happy, you are on the right track. Happy singledom, love finding, and love having, I hope you find what you are looking for! *
Lisa Powell
Is Spirituality the Most Underrated Aphrodisiac?
Think Tantra belongs to Sting’s wife? Think you know what it is; the delay and consequent heightening of pleasure? Well so did I—until I read through the articles of Maryse Cote, sacred initiatress, sexual healer and instructor in the arts of Tantra. Maryse has been helping men and women reclaim their sexual power—and pleasure—through education and healing for over twenty years. She has helped educate thousands through her private teachings, group workshops and a successful trio of audio guides: The Sexercise Training Series (available on her website http://sacredsexsecrets.com).
In today’s day and age when, as shown in a shocking and revelatory article in Montreal’s Le Devoir (Ados au Pays de la Porno, April 2005), oral sex on the schoolbus is a near daily occurrence among 8-12 year olds, Maryse’s work becomes almost indispensable. In the same article, sexologist Jocelyne Robert said: (translated from the French) ‘We are living in an unprecedented period. Before, [young people] liked or loved each other and had dirty thoughts. Now, young people are entrenched in physical sexual acts, in an extreme way, and instead have romantic fantasies. The world has turned upside-down!’
Maryse aims to help us regain our sexuality and spirituality, and the powers therein, taking a much-needed step away from society’s negative pressures and the commodification of sex.
Caitlin: So, I think when most of us westerners hear the word ‘tantra’, we can’t help but think of that-thing-Sting-does-to-make-his-wife-have(-and-talk-about-having-had)-orgasms- for-hours, but there’s much more to it, isn’t there?
Maryse: Yes indeed, but [having orgasms for hours] is not a bad start is it? [laughs] If most women could have orgasms like that, the world would be a better place. It teaches that ultimately sexuality and spirituality are two sides of the same coin, the same energy.
C: So, as for the distinction, Tantra is not a religion, right?
M: No. People do not need to be religious to experience the sacred. The sacred is all a part of who we are, our connection with all that is. Life is sacred. When we can tap into that through sexuality we are opening ourselves to a whole other dimension of our being.
C: So then, you’ve said you hold sacred space and that you are a sacred initiatress or priestess, but what makes a space, a practice, or a person sacred?
M: To begin with, I would say it is the intention more than any words or beliefs. If I am connecting with my intention to hold a space safe and sacred for other people, I require that confidentiality, for instance, be honored. So, people feel they can be themselves and share, speak their truths.
C: As far as terminology goes, you say that you have worked as an instructor, a sacred initiatress and priestess, a healer and a facilitator of sacred spaces. How do these differ?
M: I would say they differ depending on the context. As an instructor, my role is to give basic instructions. These instructions are very specific; how a woman can be more orgasmic: A, B, C, the mechanics of orgasm [laughs]. As a sacred initiatress I really hold a space for people to enter into a particular ritual, for instance, for women I have the yoni healing ritual. It is a beautiful ritual that includes a massage, external and internal. And it’s healing goes as far as is comfortable. I am here to honor this person and not to impose anything whatsoever on their particular journey. I serve as an initiatress because it’s often a first experience for people so I am initiating them into the realm of the sacred.
C: Is the historical background of Tantra a culturally isolated one? What kind of variations, if any, exist across borders?
M: As I understand it, it’s been very small schools. For instance, Tantric Buddhism is just a branch-off of Buddhism that recognized women and the body and passion, and not simply intellectual pleasures. It’s been very marginal, nothing like a major current anywhere.
C: Not yet!
M: [laughs]. Maybe. That’s part of my vision, to make that change in this world.
C: Can it be that, as you say, women carry ‘the traumatic imprints of millennia of injury and humiliation on a cellular level in their wombs and bodies’?
M: These statements are based on what I have perceived during this powerful ritual of which I was speaking, the yoni healing ritual, in combination with my women’s studies. The deep pain that’s being released is often connected to how we’ve been debased, defiled, dishonored and dis empowered. When we access this information, we are tapping into our archaic records, into our DNA, somehow, we’re going into uncharted territories.
C: In addressing your Sexercise series of audio training, you say that you had realized that ‘men have never had proper sexual training and therefore needed to be trained.’ You also mention sexual initiation processes, which would teach men how to love women. How would you implement a sexual initiation rites practice worldwide?
M: I would definitely do it by gender. This way we can create a sacred space where elder women can begin to share with the younger women the beauty of becoming and being a woman. She can share the gift and the power also, and what it’s been for her. It would be about transmission, transmitting the true gifts of womanhood, and manhood.
C: I enjoy your likening of modern day sex to fast food, that it is ‘ingested quickly and mechanically and is also deprived of high quality nutrients.’ And a great deal of sex, or even the transmission of sexual education, occurs in a detached manner. Even sex ed is a social or science class, largely focusing on anatomy, safety and fear or avoidance. Do you think it’s plausible that you could get any of this into the schools?
M: It is a part of my vision and project, to bring this into the school system, if only through a beautiful educational video showing sacred sexuality to younger people. The kids are trying to get more information themselves, but it’s not available, so we know what they are getting into. Many young kids are treating sex like currency, like money, and of course, abusing it. But yes, I’m fully aware that I’ll run into some major obstacles.
C: In reference to men’s healing, you suggest that circumcised men, as a result of the trauma, may develop into less trusting, relaxed people. Do studies support this?
M: Well I haven’t seen any studies, but knowing the great sensitivity of a newborn baby and that everything gets imprinted somehow, how could something that is such a direct invasion not [affect them]?
C: I guess the predominant notion with such things, like piercing the ears of an infant, on a lesser level, is that pain not remembered, hardly exists.
M: Yes, but we carry what we experience in our cell memory. In Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup, the author holds that our deeper beliefs are held in our cell tissue. It’s clear that those beliefs we take on early in life can still rule our lives: ‘I’m not big enough’, ‘I’m not welcome here’, ‘This part of my body is shameful.’ That goes beyond the conscious thinking, it goes deep down and we’re not aware of it.
C: How do you think that your design and instruction of a men’s sex-ed program has, as you say, been a contribution to world peace?
M: If men can be happy at home in their bedroom and really please and satisfy their goddess, you think that man will want to go out and fight? [laughs]
C: You quote a shocking statistic: That as much as 80% of women experiencing normal sexual relations are left without orgasm and full of frustration. Is this true of all generations, in your opinion?
M: Well, this likely refers to the other statistic that the majority of men are premature ejaculators, which means that within 3 minutes—or less—after entering their partner, they come. So there is no way they can satisfy a woman if they can’t sustain their sexual power longer than that.
C: You teach how a man can separate ejaculation from orgasm. What percentage of men do you think even know such a possibility exists?
M: I would say a small percentage…maybe 1%. [laughs] Maybe that’s being optimistic. [laughs] And that 1% just know about it, I’d say about 0.1% can do it. I’ve worked with many men over the years who come to me wanting to prolong lovemaking, and who have usually done their own reading and research, and still they have not come across such a possibility. That tells me it’s far from common knowledge, although I think it’s gaining.
C: You mention that you ‘became disillusioned with seeking into sex what only being can give’. I wonder, has your teaching been useful in teaching the spiritual nature beyond the act to a less obvious crowd: sex addicts?
M: Well, any kind of addiction is a disease and I am not a doctor, so I would not attempt that alone. It is too dangerous. If it was in combination with therapy, or in the post-healing phases, then yes absolutely, I think it could be very helpful.
C: And how does your training help with prostate disease?
M: I don’t work with disease as such, I work with the prevention of disease. The practices are Tantric and Taoist combined. In our North American culture, about 50% of men develop prostate problems. The idea is that the energy blocked in the genital area creates a fertile soil for disease. When you learn to circulate your sexual energy, and you keep releasing your sexual hormones throughout your whole body, you produce rejuvenating and healthful effects. Women can balance hormonal cycles to reduce and even wipe out PMS and period pain, as well as to help fight off cancers of the reproductive organs.
C: You mention that in order for men to reclaim their sexual power, they must gain a new relationship with their penis?
M: Well, I think porn keeps reinforcing the myth of men needing to have a hard-on for hours, a macho power that says he has to keep it going no matter what. And this is so damaging! No wonder men have all kinds of problems regarding their sexual performance and self-image as a man. That this myth is taking over our culture says alot.
C: Yeah I can’t recall having ever seen a spiritual porn…
M: No [laughs]. So I encourage men to see how they’re being influenced by that and how they mechanically pleasure themselves—quickly and generally with a buildup of contractions, holding the breath and then a release. So, naturally, that’s as far as their body knows how to go and it’s a very limited place. So, when they are with their partner, they haven’t learned to relax through the buildup to higher levels of arousal, and that’s the key. For that, one needs to be trained to breathe properly. Most people don’t even know what the natural breathing pattern is anymore, they just take shallow breaths in the chest. But once they do the work, because practice is key, they see the changes: they can last longer, they can relax while moving to their pleasure, and yes, they can satisfy their partner more.
C: So what about using visual aids or sex toys. Can you get your body and mind so used to something that you actually need porn to get turned on? Or a vibrator to come?
M: Oh most definitely. That’s the danger of these devices. They’re not wrong in themselves, but we can become dependent; our sensitivity can be buffered to the point where the human touch alone just doesn’t do it anymore. Self-monitoring is important.
C: You say that the only models of women that the patriarchal religions have provided for us [to relate to] are those of the asexual virgin-mother or the demonized whore. Do you think this is relevant enough to affect modern day women?
M: I think it is still affecting us today, maybe not as much because we’re no longer living in as religious a culture as we were thirty, forty or fifty years ago. We’ve moved out from under the strong cultural weight that religion had with regards to morality. So it’s like, ‘we’re free to do whatever we please, have sex with whoever we want, as often as we want’ and so on and so forth. And that was great! [laughs] For the time being. In the seventies and the beginning of the eighties.
C: Pre-AIDS.
M: Exactly, it was a different time. That indulgence is largely due to us going from thousands of years of oppression to so-called freedom that we don’t know what to do with. So we abuse it and sex becomes a commercialized exchange. It is anywhere and everywhere; it is debased and defiled. Talk about going from one extreme to the other.
C: So your work, at its core, aims to remind us of what we should be able to do on our own, naturally, but today we need to be taught, often with difficulty.
M: That’s the thing, we are not being given basic values. I’m not even speaking [of the lack of values] on a sexual level. I am talking about transmitting a sense of basic self-worth to your children, or how a culture can show that respect is necessary. Without it, it’s not even a culture anymore, it’s an economy. So the economy has taken over sex. And it’s selling it all over the place. And it sells it to younger people who don’t have a sense of self. It’s very damaging. I mean, cosmetic surgery on the labia? How far have were gone? [laughs] More and more people are having it done. It’s too much.
C: And the biggest rationale for cosmetic surgery is ‘because it makes me feel good.’ It’s like anything that makes us feel good is okay. We don’t consider addressing why we didn’t feel good to begin with.
M: Exactly.
C: Do you have to be pre-healed or have gone to therapy to be open to tantra? Like, can you be really screwed up and still benefit?
M: [laughs] Yes. There is not a way, or just one door to open yourself. It’s not hard, it’s about love. When the heart starts to open, it just does.
C: Can someone who is single, or who is not in a loving relationship with their partner(s), still reap the benefits of tantra?
M: Oh yes, most definitely. I teach a women’s series and it is very much about loving yourself and about healing and practices they can already apply to open themselves to their full orgasmic potential. For instance, I teach a fire breath, a powerful orgasmic breath that can open you up without a partner or even touching yourself, it’s all energetic.
C: I guess I’ll have to check it out.
M: Yes, you should come to a workshop and see. As a participant of course!
Maryse Cote offers private and group sessions, as well as workshops and instructor’s training. Her site is full of ideas and offerings too numerous to list. Time to check it out.*
Caitlin Reid
Art by Jason Willmann (c) 2006
Title: Dragon Quest VIIIPlaystation 2 / November 2005
Price: $59.95
# of Players: 1
Graphics: 5/5
Sound: 5/5
Control: 5/5
Overall: 5/5
For all those who say that videogames are just for kids, I say look to Japan and to an interesting little law that was passed a number of years ago. The law stipulates that no Dragon Quest game can be released on any day but a Sunday or a holiday. The reason? Chaos. Kids cut school, adults ditch work, and pretty much everyone who plays games over there waits in line in any weather conditions, for insane lengths of time, and all to get their hands on one of these games. They’re borderline religion overseas - or more so than some of the religions we’ve got on this side of the water, anyway.
Each game in the series is very much the same as the one that came before. It’s a traditional RPG, loaded with stat building, monster hunting, treasure seeking, endless dungeons, and more often than not, a quest to save the world (even if it is a different world every single time). Like the other big name in RPG’s, Final Fantasy, Each Dragon Quest is a story and world unto itself, so just because it’s the eighth iteration doesn’t mean that you need to have played any of the others to enjoy it. While it’s been along longer than Square’s Final Fantasy series, the Dragon Quest games have just never caught on with the same fervor in the North America. It’s not that they’re not good, it’s that they lack the flash of most of the games coming out nowadays. Even the Playstation’s seventh installment adhered tightly to the 2-D static battle screen and distinct lack of 21st century sound. Things are a bit different this time around.
Level-5, whose previous efforts include the PS2 titles Dark Cloud and it’s sequel, was brought in to develop this title for publisher Square-Enix, and they’ve completely re-invented the series while still maintaining the roots that the hardcore fans would die without. Most obvious - the games graphics. The engine sports a cell-shading style that makes the game look like a piece of anime, never dropping in frame rate. Even the characters are now viewable on the battlefield. Every enemy takes on a life of it’s own. The dungeons and the world are characters in and of themselves this time around, fully fleshed out. You actually get the sense that you’re walking across a substantial world, not just a map with locations spread out randomly across it. Top notch. But at the same time, the menu driven combat retains the exact same feel - it just carries a fresh coat of paint.
The music is gorgeous, keeping the feel of the series by maintaining a number of signature pieces, but updating everything by using an orchestra to perform all of the music. But at the same time, the sound effects are very similar to the same sounds that have been used since day one. It’s an interesting juxtaposition, one that makes the game feel very fresh and familiar at the same time.
As expected with anything from such quality developers, the control is spot on at all times, simple and easy to grasp. The only learning curve is in managing the stats, but then that will only be difficult for someone who is coming into an RPG for the first time.
The only area in which the game could be called lacking is the overall story. It’s not really much of a tale, with a mad Jester on the run, devastating the lives of those around him, and you’re team, each for their own reasons, have come together to track him down and stop him. There are a couple of twists along the way, but nothing overly shocking. In the end, the story is there as a means to get to know the characters, which are all unique and amusing in their own right. And whoever it was you had the idea of getting British comic actors to do the voice work was a genius. If epic games are your thing, buy it now.
Title: God of WarPlaystation 2 / April 2005 - April 2006
Price: $29.95
# of Players: 1
Graphics: 5/5
Sound: 5/5
Control: 5/5
Overall: 5/5
Sony’s God of War originally came out on the PS2 back in April of 2005, but the title has been recently released as part of the Greatest Hits run of titles, meaning it’s now easier to find and a hell of a steal at only 30 bucks. And of course, re-releasing the game now means it will be fresh in the public’s minds when the sequel is released in February 2007.
The game follows Kratos, a cursed warrior in ancient Greece who is tasted by Athena to take on and destroy Ares, the God of War, before he lays waste to Athens completely. Simple at first, the story does take some twists and turns as Kratos’ back story is slowly revealed across the course of the game.
While it may not sound overly epic in scope, the action in this game is the sort of action we all wished for back when playing games on the NES. It’s fast, furious, and barely lets up for the entire run of the game. Like so many games coming out right now, the only excuse for a sub-par experience is lack of effort. So many companies have such a good handle on the current generation of systems that the quality we’re getting right now is incredible.
The combat at the center of the game feels like classic platforming gameplay brought seamlessly into three dimensions. It’s combo system is extremely intuitive, switching from fight to fight without hassle. An interesting twist to the game is the inclusion of button sensitive moments, meaning that near the end of all fights, small and large, a button will appear over an enemies head. Hit the button and follow the further prompts and a sequence will take over as Kratos viciously finishes the job he started in very graphic and exciting ways. Good stress reliever.
The graphics are the top tier of what we’re seeing today. They even rival Xbox 360 graphics at times. Amazing what can be taken from this system if the developer knows what they’re doing.
The music score is epic and feels as if it was stripped straight from the best Hollywood score, while the sound effects are as visceral as possible. On thing the game does perfectly is weight, meaning that every action, every movement and every moment has significant weight to it, and the sound makes that all the more apparent with every slice and crunch. Just use the Minotaur fight as an example - everything comes together perfectly there.
One of the only complaints that could be leveled against it is that the experience is a little on the short side. But short and quality is far better than long and shitty. Plus, anyone who feels it wasn’t enough of a challenge can come back and try the game on God mode difficulty, or the Challenge of the Gods mode. Each one of those will neuter the
unprepared.
Need more convincing? Just play through the first level. After you’ve taken on a half-dozen Hydra heads you’re heart will be racing and you’ll be loving every moment. Buy, definitely buy.
Title: Gran Turismo 4Playstation 2 / March 2005 - April 2006
Price: $29.95
# of Players: 1-6 (LAN connection)
Graphics: 5/5
Sound: 5/5
Control: 5/5
Overall: 5/5
Sony’s Gran Turismo series has become the barometer by which all other racing titles are judged. The series strives for complete and utter simulation, eschewing arcade theatrics for a straight up, business-like performance. Each one in the series takes years of development and meticulous planning, and it shows - but you need to know what to expect before jumping in as it’s definitely not for everyone.
Graphically, the game is one of the prettiest racing games ever made and certainly questions the need for the next generation when the current crop of games is capable of these types of visuals. From reflections on the cars to the dust, rain and snow kicked up by their tires, the game screams detail at all corners. Every car is picture perfect and every stage meticulously modeled after it’s real life counterpart. In short, it’s gorgeous.
The sound is no different. Each engine sounds unique and as strong as you’d expect. The tires screeching is a classic feel and everything just gels. The only hits I can give the game in the sound department is what is, in my opinion, a very poor choice in music... but then to each their own. I just hook up an iPod to the stereo and turn the TV volume down anyway - so much better.
Control is one issue where the game stumbles a bit. The controls are as perfect as they can be, but the problem lies with the fact that to get the most out of the game, to truly excel in all aspects, you’re going to have to shell out an extra 200 to get the Logitech Steering Wheel peripheral. Without it, just using the controller, it feels as if you’re losing half of the experience. The game was clearly made with the peripheral in mind, and that’s a bit unfortunate for the average gamer who just wants to pick up the controller and go for it.
But then, this game is not made for the average gamer. It’s a simulation, through and through. It doesn’t have the flash of a Ridge Racer or Burnout. What it does it does well, but it’s a serious time undertaking. One of the endurance races is even a 24 hour one. One feature the game has to help you cope with this is the B-Spec mode, where you can set up an AI to take you through the race. For my money, it’s critical to become familiar with that mode if you plan on taking on all of the races, because without it you might never sleep.
The game was released early last year, but like God of War, it has just been re-released as part of the Greatest Hits line and has taken a significant price drop. It’s definitely worth the money, but whether or not it’s worth the serious time investment depends on the person and just how obsessive their nature is. *
Andrew Wilmot
Juliet's Cafe
1905 Cornwall Avenue
Vancouver BC
(604) 732-8212
I stopped at this little place on Cypress and Cornwall last week. The place was nice enough with a simple, cozy décor. I perused the chalk board menu of $8.00 sandwiches (no sides) and even glanced into the salad area. For a place that prides itself on exquisite food, you’d think that they’d be more original than to put the same 3 ingredients ( cucumber, tomato and lettuce) in 80% of their dishes. I got a tuna melt which was boring on my part but there wasn’t much choice. I gave my order to the counter girl and after paying her, glanced at the tip jar but refrained - when a guy handing in his resume came up behind me, I became invisible. I wasn’t really sure of the order of things, ie where to get my food. And it doesn’t help when the one person who is in charge of telling you that order of things,is too busy telling a stranger about her planned trip to Germany next week. It was very disorderly.
The sandwich came out. Any tuna melt that takes 10 mins to make has to be great right? Wrong. The bread was like concrete and the whole fell apart faster than a celebrity marriage.
On the wall next to my table was a poster of the owner's androgynous child that said “ mmm! Nothing is as good as my mom’s cooking!” or something close to that. Should I feel guilty for hating this place now? I wouldn’t come back ... not even if the meal were free. *
Food : * ½
Atmosphere : ***
Service : * ½
Overall: D
Laura V
Logo : Steff Valor
JORDAN LADD
I saw her last night while I was watching the horrible movie Waiting…. Her and former cookie Emmanulle Chriqui were the only things worth watching ( and co-star Kaitlin Doubleday). Her last name obviously made me think of former Charlie’s Angel Cheryl Ladd and what do you know! They are mother and daughter. She’s originally a redhead ( which we LOVEEEE) but you ll often see her with jet black or blonde hair . She was in Club Dread and so, so cute in it. As well as Cabin Fever… basically nothing credible. Watch for her though, she’ll be popping up somewhere good soon, I know it!*
